Monday, May 19, 2014

The Goddess in Me

You have insulted me. You have unfriended me. You have held me and said, “you are like a daughter to me”,  just to backstab me. You have spread rumors about me. You have scandalized me. You have spoken about me. You have not spoken to me.

“You” are some of the respected members of the Bengali community in Sacramento. Some of you have now known me for over a decade. Some of you barely know me. But you are all somehow united in your judgment about a personal life decision I made two years ago.

I think it is now time I thanked you for your contribution in my life.

Why, you ask?

Because it is “you” who unleashed the goddess in me. Each time you tried to crush my soul and make me your scapegoat, you helped me rise. Each time you ignored me and my daughter, you helped me become stronger. Each time you tried to prove your own lame existence, you made me live.

I have often been questioned why I still choose to attend certain functions and gatherings knowing you will be there.  You see, I am not like you. I don’t have to hide and crawl. I have not done anything to you that makes me feel that way. In fact I quite enjoy you trying to do the avoiding and disappearing act. That is exactly how you should live - in fear. Because its time you realized, the goddess lives in me. Not in the ones sitting in your cabinets, that you pray to every day.

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