Mala's Masala

Growing Up in a Boarding School - The Journey Continues…

2012-01-22T20:28:00.000-08:00

Having the house to myself, access to unlimited wine and streaming old Bollywood hits definitely requires a blog post. Especially since I've been on a hiatus. While the whole world (yes, US of A definitely considers themselves to encompass the whole world with their world series on everything) watches football ( I don't even know why they call it that...sigh!), I can actually hear myself think after what seems like a trillion years.

The songs currently playing are from my school days and recent Facebook pictures of some of my hostel friends have stirred in such nostalgia that I need to go back to the day when I heard I would be moving to another boarding school - a school that had swings, slides and a jungle gym. A place where I couldn’t speak my language freely or have to pray to Jesus every night was not my cup of tea. But most importantly, the fact that Pratt's playground was barren of any play structure, did not sit well with me. So, I was excited to leave Pratt memorial and head for Gokhale Memorial Girls School
(GMGS).

It didn’t take long for me to make friends at GMGS. In fact, I found one while taking the entrance exam for that school – a fair and pretty girl from Guwahati who sucked at written Bengali as much as I did – Moumita Saha. Our journey at Gokhale began together – and what a journey that was.

I will always remember this school with fondness as most of who I am today was due to my time spent in those dormitories, corridors, dining hall and playground. Not to mention the ‘ghupchi’ and ‘gauri kund’ where some of us went to escape and share a few laughs. But I will remember this place mostly due to the “Guru Chela” fan system we had going. My first day at GMGS hostel, I was indoctrinated into this age-old custom of becoming a “fan” of a senior by Maitreyee. Too bad we didn’t end up inventing Facebook with its fan pages. Whichever senior I picked would become my “Guru” and I would be her “Chela” (disciple). My first "Guru" I remember was Tora Sinha who was sadly subjugated to my horribly ugly handmade cards and letters expressing my love for her.

Talking about letters - for some reason we wrote a lot of those in Gokhale amongst friends whom we'd meet on a daily basis. We'd exchange letters secretly, hide them in the folds of our socks (folding of the socks was considered fashionable) and hand them over while passing each other in assembly lines. I really don't remember what we could have possibly written and even though it seems extremely silly right now - it is something we devoted a lot of time to. It was probably the only way I knew to express myself. Till date I feel the same way. I am able to express myself better in writing than have a conversation about things that make me uncomfortable.

My love for the arts developed in class VB when our art teacher “Practish” gave me an 8 out of 100 and mocked my “view of a room” in front of the entire class. Apparently I had made no distinction between the walls and the floor and they were all painted in one solid color. My love for Hindi movies – specifically “Aamir Khan” developed right at the same time. It was the year of “Qyamat se Qyamat Tak” and a first in the history of our hostel when the girls united and forced our Matrons to take us to the movie theater to watch the movie. What followed were two dorms full of love-struck girls, listening to QSQT songs, hugging the little black radio on occasions and collecting Aamir Khan postcards. Yes, he was my first love who got me into trouble and I somehow found myself facing severe punishment in class for “dealing” with these postcards of images on Aamir hugging Juhi. I am still convinced though that our teachers wanted those postcards for themselves and Aamir’s cuteness was much discussed in the Staff Rooms.

I most certainly cannot complete my GMGS experience in this one post and I have this feeling creeping up on me that my "alone time" is about to end. So I do need to go back to drinking my wine, closing my eyes and remembering the good old days. More to come soon with pictures...I promise!

Letting Go...

2011-09-19T22:06:00.000-07:00

...is probably the hardest thing to do at times. Yet, we all have to do it for various reasons at different stages in our lives. Sometimes I'm amazed how I've lived my entire life with all my belongings in one small cupboard shared by two boarders and one bedding. When it was time to let go of that, I moved into our 1100 sq ft flat in Kolkata with one room complete with a desk, bed and armoire entirely to myself. It felt very complete and even though there didn't seem enough space in the room to walk around - it felt like I had everything I need. Out here in the US life began with big dreams - the US dream of a four bedroom house and two car garage with a big backyard and we didn't take much time to move into a 2300 sq ft house and once again furnished it to its fullest.

Now I realize the excess. Everywhere I look around me I see 'stuff' more than half of which we really don't need in any way or form. Its time to dig deeper and free myself from this materialistic clutter I've created around me. I thought it would be an easy fix. I was wrong. As I put furniture and other personal things on sale and see them go away one at a time, I can't help but feel a bit of sadness and loss. Feeling this way has taken me by surprise since I never knew I was attached to them this way.

Tonight as my formal living area lets go of its last piece of furniture I convince myself change is a good thing and this will be good for me in the long run.

"Ohm"

What's in My Fridge?

2011-09-15T17:01:00.000-07:00

PEE. Yes, you heard right - I have PEE in my fridge, aka URINE. Ah, the joys of parenthood!

Anyone else grossed out?

So before I put it in the fridge (as per doctor's advice and not some sickening pleasure you think I'm deriving out of this), I actually debated whether I should let it cool to room temperature first and exactly how many ziplocs would I need for this. I'm on a budget here, so I ended up using only one. As for the cooling - the fridge took care of it I suppose.

Welcome to my week. A week of endless fever (starting Saturday night and still persisting), sleepless nights, two antibiotics, two bottles of Tylenol, endless (I'm probably going to be using this word too many times in this post) whining, 0 sick days now moving on to vacation days (I hate to admit that this is what is probably disturbing me most) and now I have urine sample in my fridge. And all of this might persist for 48 more hours (minus the pee thankfully). Hell yes, I'm CRANKY!!!

It started off as a sinus infection. The first antibiotic probably didn't work. Now the congestion is in her chest and there is a possibility of urine infection. So she's on her second antibiotic and we can only hope this will work. Poor baby is miserable from being sick.

Scene at the Paul residence

Thanks to all my FB friends who tried to guess what I had in my fridge. Hope you are all grossed out now - I am surely deriving some pleasure out of this :)

To those local friends (minus one) who knew E was sick and didn't bother to call/email - this mom who is single during the week is PISSED (pun intended)!

At this point I'm just glad I drink red wine and it doesn't need to be refrigerated.

Blah blah blah blah blah

2011-09-01T14:36:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know I need to finish my series on boarding schools and it would be wrong to say I don't have the time. The fact is when I do have the time I just want to...well, do nothing! Most nights I've been falling asleep by 9pm out of exhaustion and not the physical kind. My brains are fried from having listening to my daughter talk and ask questions continuously for five or six hours straight. Her hand always gets tired after maybe 5 spoonfuls of food into her mouth. How come her mouth doesn't get tired from all the talking I'm still to figure out. I know I sound like a horrible mother, but I need this to stop asap - duct tape anyone?

There are times I think she tests if I am listening. She will ask me a question knowing very well my answer will be no. But after maybe an hours worth of listening I have of course tuned out and without even knowing what she is asking for I just nod trying to show I'm listening. Right at that moment she will try to snatch whatever device I have in my hand and get my attention by asking why she is allowed to do so and so. Now after hearing what she really wants I have to take back my nod (yes) and say no. Now what follows is a whole set of why's and this time I have to answer all of them so that I stay consistent with the lesson I'm trying to provide which at this point I'm utterly confused about. Make sense? No? Welcome to my life.

Yesterday I took her for a walk after school. At the end of it I wasn't tired of walking as much as I was from listening and trying to answer a million questions.

Today she is sick and at home, which means six additional hours of talk time. Which means wine alone will not do the trick.

For all my friends updating their status on FB with all your fun travel plans for this long weekend - anyone want to take this opportunity to show me what a TRUE friend you are and take E along? :)

Photo from our walk yesterday by E.
However many seconds it took to take the photo was the ONLY time she wasn't speaking.

Growing Up in a Boarding School - Amen!

2011-07-28T21:33:00.000-07:00

I've probably never been as exposed to religion in my entire life as I was during my first four years of boarding school at Pratt. We knelt by our beds every night to say a prayer as well as before every meal. Our school had a Church that we visited every Sunday morning and I learned to sing hymns from the Bible and make a cross in the air with my hand. I was too young to grasp the concept of religion then, but I do remember looking forward to going to Church. It was a chance to escape the four walls of the hostel and come in contact with the "outside world". I also loved the architecture, the stained glass and how the Church smelled. After Church I went to special Bible class by choice because I was intrigued by all the stories. I knew all about Christianity before I knew anything about Hinduism.

So naturally Christmas was big at my school. Before we closed for the Holidays, the boarders put up an annual show and party. Imagine my excitement when I was told I would be the "Guiding Star" and would be in costume and makeup. The play was going to depict Jesus being born and only a handful of junior dorm students were selected to be in character and I was one of them. I was elated. However, Jesus must have noticed my yawns at Church and I fell sick right before the play. High temperature had me lying in bed at our "Sick Room" for days and I missed rehearsals. One evening Tota came to visit me and let me know that she was given my role. That night I cried - I was so sad. I did end up being in the play but as a last minute addition where I had to enter with a bunch of girls and skip and hop and leave. I was not in costume and had to wear one of my own outfits.

It still intrigues me how I did not end up being all that religious after all of that. Maybe because I eventually realized that people think being religious makes up for all the wrong they do. However, I am thankful for the life I've had, the experiences that have taught me so much, loved ones and now my daughter. In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit - amen!

Growing Up in a Boarding School - The Dining Experience!

2011-07-23T22:19:00.000-07:00

I cannot remember if getting into the groove of things at Pratt was easy or
difficult. My memory of those first few years is somewhat fuzzy. I stayed
there for about four years moving on to another boarding school, but more on
the move in future installments.

Apart from sleeping in an uncomfortable bed with a room full of total
strangers and using those common toilets and bath area I think the biggest
adjustment was the food. If you know anything about Bengali's you would know
we are all about our food. Our daily meals are pretty elaborate and
delicious and parents jump through hoops feeding their kids to make them
round and chubby. Before stepping into hostel life I did not quite appreciate
that of course. I used to be one of those kids not too keen on eating and
would take hours finishing one meal. It didn't take me long to realize the good life I'd left behind soon after I sat down for my first meal at the hostel.

The aluminum plates and a trolly with two large buckets filled with rice and daal respectively and some kind of vegetable concoction already served on those plates still manages to churn my stomach whenever I think of those days. Breakfast consisted of a runny porridge also served on plates which later somehow became my most favorite food at Pratt. Non-veg which consisted more of curry and less of meat was only served on weekends. One positive came out of this culinary experience - on my fist vacation back home I absolutely devoured anything that was served to me. From there on eating was never a problem and I could eat almost anything given to me without being picky. I truly began to appreciate food. Till date I hate wasting food - it reminds me of those days where I didn't have much to eat.

Talking about food - we did have a tuck locker back in our dorm area. This was the place which held the most precious of our possessions - little snack items that were sent from home. These were all kept locked and was given to us on weekends. I remember relishing each cream biscuit one lick at a time. There was also a guy who used to come to the hostel on weekends to sell cookies from his black trunk. He had these bright pink and white cookies that he sold for a few paisas. I would almost always spend my tuck money on those.

These days I'm served huge portions wherever I go to eat and I see the amount of food being wasted around me. It makes me sad and I remember those days as little girls when we would have given anything to eat the way we do now.

Growing Up in a Boarding School - The Beginning

2011-07-07T19:22:00.000-07:00

My interview at Pratt Memorial School consisted of a spelling test. I had to
spell three words given to me by the principal. I had spelled one of them
wrong and was sad that I would not get admitted. The word was 'face' and I
had spelled it with an 's' even though I had known the spelling. Probably
because I was nervous. I was five.

I however did get admitted to that boarding school and was soon accompanied by pishimoni (aunt), ma (mom) and a black trunk filled with my belongings on my
first day there. I will come back to the trunk soon but right
away I need to tell you that I still remember the feeling I had in my
stomach that day as I was being dropped off. I did not shed a tear maybe
because I was too confused with the knots I was feeling deep inside me. It
was probably the calm before the storm - because later in my life there were
plenty of tears to make up for that one brave night and probably the most important moment in my life.

Coming back to the black trunk. It was an object of awe the very first time it came to the house. I don't know why exactly but maybe because it came with the significance of leaving home and entering into a brand new territory. I still remember my name and address being inscribed on it with white ink. It was like the most artistic and incredible thing I'd ever seen. Later that trunk became an integral part of my happy and sad moments both. It made me happy when it was brought out of the hostel storage - that meant I was going home on vacation and made me sad when I had to pack it at home at the end of a month long vacation.

But I digress. This post is about my first day at boarding school and even though we didn't have cameras back then to record first days of everything in our child's life - I still have a crystal clear picture of that night. The boarding section of the school was situated on the third floor of the very old building. It was built during the Britsh Raj and had grand staircases and huge windows (more like doors) with green shutters. After you climbed up the stairs to the third floor you entered into a long corridor that led to the Matrons room on the other end of it. The three dorms (junior, intermediate and senior)ran parallel to the corridor on its right. Our lockers and shoe racks ran along the two walls of the corridor and that is where we all conglomerated every night to polish our shoes in preparation for the next day.

And I've digressed again. It was late evening when we arrived at the hostel. It was already dark outside and all the dorms were empty. My place would of course be in the junior dorm and while my aunt spoke with the matron and handed her my belongings I was asked to walk into the dorm to take a look. As I did, I noticed a solitary girl standing at the other end of the dorm looking out from the window. I went up to her and asked her her name. She had the same last name as mine and I took that as a sign and we became best of friends for the next few years. She told me that it was a special night and so all the other girls were in a common room watching TV. She stayed back because she was missing her mom who I found out some time later was no longer alive.

It was because of her my first day there didn't seem as bad. That night when I lay in my bed amongst almost a hundred other girls of different ages and backgrounds, I realized my life had just begun and little did I know those were the years that would make me who I am today.

Tota Bhowmik - wherever you are, this post is for you!

Following dreams

2011-07-04T20:01:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my daughter I've watched the movie Tangled close to a hundred times (not an exaggeration)and surprisingly each time I've LOVED it and wished I was the lost princess who is finally able follow her dreams. One thing I've realized while growing up is that I have always lived a life that was deemed right and proper by someone else. Even the dreams were more or less set for me. I'm not saying I've had a bad life - but it was mostly not of my own choice. I think a lot of my friends from India have been in similar situations and felt the same way, yet we always end up doing what we think everyone else will think is right. Now that I am a mother such expectations are much greater. Every step I take I have to be convinced I am doing the right thing for her.

Deep down inside I know whatever I do, I will always have her best interest in mind and will not love her any less. I hope she grows up living her dreams and knows it is okay for everyone else around her to do so. As we sit and watch Tangled for the 101st time and she tries to braid my hair, I foresee a strong, beautiful and independent girl following her dreams just like the lost princess Rapunzel (even though her hair takes forEVER to grow):)

Happy 4th readers and here's hoping you are all following your dreams or are at least trying to do so.

My Last Wish(es)

2011-05-20T16:51:00.000-07:00

Okay, so according to Harold Camping the world comes to an end tomorrow which is all fine and dandy and I plan to have an equally “exciting” life with the zombies but I quite honestly don’t want to be stuck within gray cubicles my last day. I definitely want to be in a beach sipping cocktails as per my FB status RIGHT NOW! Okay – have to admit it has nothing to do with the world ending and all – I want to be on a beach and not working – ANYWAYS! But if the world were to end I would be pissed because there are too many things on my to-do list before I die:

• African Safari
• Taj Mahal on a full moon night
• Dinner at the Caves in Jamaica
• Houseboat stay in Kashmir
• A few nights at the Udaipur Palace
• Palace on Wheels
• Backwaters of Kerela
• Trek (whatever I can) the Himalayas
• Go on a date with George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Saif Ali Khan and Aamir Khan (I’ve been dreaming of them lately – maybe it’s a sign!)
• Learn belly dance, hip-hop and kathak
• Get into a size 4 dress
• Get my nose pierced – yes, AGAIN
• Learn to bake – I WILL eventually
• Shop irrespective of what’s on sale
• Be the world’s best mom
• Adopt a child
• Contribute to society to my best abilities
• Eradicate folks who have nothing better to do than proclaim the world is coming to an end.

• And most importantly TRAVEL THE WORLD and Win a lottery!

I’m sure I’ve missed many things (as I said, way too much to do before I die) but it was fun trying to think of all the things I still want to do. Also, I’m just waiting what these folks will have to say on Sunday. :)

An Encounter

2011-04-20T22:38:00.000-07:00

You know you’ve been married to the same guy for way too long when...

...you are at the ATM depositing a check and you smell the most sensuous cologne that makes you turn around and want to hug what you see. :)

Fame & Fortune

2011-04-14T12:32:00.000-07:00

When I was in high school, my grandparents once had a puja at their house that I of course arrived late to after my day in school. It worked out perfect since it was time for Prasad and I gorged on ‘luchi’ and ‘payesh.’ While eating I eyed my grandmother whisper something to the pundit’s ear. Later when he came up to me and took my palm in his hand I knew exactly what my grandmother had said.

So in the middle of a large room full of relatives and relatives of relatives (you get what I’m trying to say here) my future was bestowed upon me. The lines of my palm revealed both fame and fortune in my future. Well of course that made me want to believe in palmistry and made me very very happy till the wait got only too long.

In case you were wondering…I ended up with neither. The reason behind this sudden spark of memory being a recent invitation to judge the DHIM-TANA music and dance competition in the bay area where I was told I would be aired on TV 9 both here and in India. Imagine my reaction – finally chances of becoming famous!!! So what if it was only in Andhra? I just might become a Tollywood star and then maybe move on to Bollywood! The doors to fame were opening. I could almost see that pundit’s face. I was sooo close.

Well, let’s just say it didn’t go as planned and I ended up coming back to my ordinary life writing for my ordinary blog. The camera did not pan to where the judges were seated, as it remained focused on the stage. But all jokes apart, I’m glad it was that way. The young talent I saw on stage that day was quite breathtaking as well as inspiring. Once I was able to get past the Carnatic music competition (no offence…its just not for me!) my eyes, just like the camera, were glued to the stage. The melodious voices, breathtaking dances and exuberant costumes blew my mind and showed the hard work and commitment these kids ranging from as young as 6 years to teenagers were capable of. I just wanted to take this opportunity to let our kids know we are very proud of you and all that you achieve in your lifetime. I’ve barely achieved half of what you already have and nowhere close.

My only hope for that day’s performers is that amidst your race for becoming doctors and engineers may you not lose sight of the amazing talent you have and hope some of you will continue to keep your art form alive. And even though I don’t know a damn thing about palmistry, but some of you out there, if you keep doing what you are, you have a pretty good chance of fame and fortune in your future. By all means you were all stars in my eyes.

I Do Exist

2011-04-06T15:03:00.001-07:00

Yes, I know I just dropped off from the face of this earth or so it seems. Quite honestly, I am still playing catch up ever since I returned from vacation. Ah yes, vacation, need more of those in my life. What an incredible trip it was with my little one. 2 countries, 3 cities, 2 weddings and 2 dance workshops all in three weeks. Friends, family and food galore. Some friends I met after nearly a decade. That's how long I've been in Sacramento and yet every time I go back it seems like it was just the other day.

So much has happened since I got back that I cannot wrap my thoughts around all of it at the moment. I received a call this morning from a friend in India who was wondering why I stopped writing and so I thought I'd at least make a reappearance. I'm sad I missed Evani's turning 4 post. Life has been incredibly busy, but here's hoping I will stop to smell the roses.

Featuring Penn Masala

2010-10-26T14:24:00.000-07:00

In order to distract myself and my readers from the previous post photo - here is some cuteness~ can I get them for my birthday??? lol!

Minus 20

2010-10-20T12:54:00.000-07:00

The journey started in February of this year after I saw the below photograph that made me cringe. I was mad for what I had done to myself and had no one but myself to blame and so I made a promise to get off my lazy ass and do something about it.

As of this morning I am 20 lbs lighter and three dress sizes smaller and extremely proud of myself for getting here. The path has been very challenging but very very rewarding at the same time since it did not involve personal trainers, fad diets or pills but pure hard work and dedication. I even posted this photo hoping it will motivate me to NEVER want to go back to being that size ever again.

A lot of you have asked me recently how I’ve lost all this weight and to all of you my answer has been same – working my butt off. Many of you have not believed me (I can tell) and think there is something I am not sharing. But seriously, I am not. It just doesn’t sound too good to hear you have to really work hard to lose weight. What you want to hear is ‘try this diet or try this new pill and you will see results in two weeks, that’s how I lost weight!.’

I know a lot of my friends are trying to lose weight and trust me when I say I would love to help you. But you have to remember that you have to help yourself first and foremost. Also, everybody is different, and it is up to you to figure out what works and does not work for you.

Here are a few things that worked for me and I’ve learnt in the process:

• Educating myself on proper nutrition and fitness. I continue to refer to Fitness Magazine, Jillian Michaels online newsletter and Everyday Health. The great thing about these are that they are all free and online newsletters with great tips and even exercises. They’ve also helped me stay motivated.
• Gym membership is not required. You will be surprised how you can do both cardio and strength training without stepping into a gym. So, if you do not have a membership or you don’t want to pay for one it should not stop you from working out. However, the gym was important to me to keep me motivated during my workouts. I also made use of the classes they offer and free training sessions they have occasionally. However, if for any reason I am not able to go to the gym, I can very well get an equal workout at home.
• Never go hungry or starve yourself. Eat every 2-3 hours, but eat healthy and in small portions. Trader Joes was a savior to me when it came to healthy snack options. Loving food the way I do, I never deprived myself of anything. I have occasionally gorged on stuff too. But for the most part I’ve made healthier choices. Depriving myself of food that I love makes it worse for me and makes me depressed, so I’ve never been successful at following any diets ever.
• Stay away from diets as much as you can. Eliminating a food group or type from your system is not the solution. Your body needs all food groups including carbs and fats. Choose the good ones and try to steer away form eating out. In most cases the ‘healthy” options provided by restaurants or fast food chains are really not healthy. Also, learn to read the labels of food stuff you purchase and what that means to your intake.
• Saying you are busy and have no time to work out is NOT going to help you. Trust me, I had no time up until I figured out I had an hour for lunch. Ever since I’ve worked out most lunchtimes instead of going out to eat or going shopping or even plain sitting at my desk browsing or working.
• Do not depend on a work-out buddy. It was a mistake I made starting out. Remember it is YOUR goal and only YOU can reach it. Get used to working out yourself and enjoy the “me time”.
• Add variety to your workout. Try new things. PLAY with your kids in the park – do the moneky bars with them. We all have desk jobs, so make your life away from the desk as much active and fun as possible. Throw in squats, lunges, pushups whenever and wherever you can. You can break up your workout into tiny slots throughout the day.
• Life will throw many things at you. You will be tired, sick, stressed, depressed and all of this will stop you from working out every now and then. Just remember, working out actually helps in all these situations. You come out refreshed with more energy feeling positive. This past year has not been the greatest one for me personally. A lot of negativity surrounded me and still does. However that’s what motivates me and working out always helps me get all those negative feelings out.
• It makes you a better parent. You can help educate your kids on making good food choices from the start and help them in enjoy an active life. Evani loves to stretch, do yoga and dance with me and I still get to spend time with her while working out.

Know that the ONLY way to lose weight and stay healthy is exercising consistently and eating healthy. For some of us it requires a few lifestyle changes. I’ve changed mine and hope you are able to change yours and believe you can do it too.

Storyteller

2010-10-19T13:55:00.000-07:00

Translation: One night a deer was crossing the street at night. Then the deer got hit by a car. Then it looks like a fishy. Then go to doctor deer, oh, deer doctor. Then it got better. Then it went home. Then it did not feel sick anymore. The end.

This story is based on an encounter of a wounded deer on our way to Evani’s school one morning.

Joys of Motherhood

2010-10-14T09:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was one of those days when you realize being a mom means having to let go. So the park I like to visit (for you know what reason) is going to become past tense after Evani had to go pee behind the bushes there last night and I was offered a hand sanitizer by you know who. Thankfully she had swim lessons, which helped my speedy and embarrassed exit thereafter.

And like one embarrassment wasn’t enough for the night, one her way back from the shower after swim lessons, madam drops our big bright towel right into the pool. Now I don’t know how she managed to do that since from where she was standing the towel should’ve dropped to the floor. Karma you say? For not wearing new clothes or visiting the temple during Durga Pujo?

I think our Karmas were all screwed up the day we decided to become moms…such joy!

My kind of Pujo

2010-10-13T12:05:00.000-07:00

As the Goddess Durga steps foot on this earth and brings her children along for five full days of partying, (Oh c’mon! It IS a party for them. Being donned in the best outfits, doted on and fed throughout the day – that’s hell of a party for me), I often wonder what Durga pujo has meant to me and my family for several years.

I remember my grandfather and his search for the earplugs as the day commenced. He was extremely annoyed with the blaring microphones playing tasteless Bollywood songs. In fact he was annoyed with almost all Pujo celebrations, maybe because most of it was not related to worshiping Durga at all. The crowds, the noise and even the youth population knocking on every door asking for donations trying to raise money for the pujo in their community. He did enjoy going to my aunt’s who hosted a pujo at her house. There he was able to actually worship the Goddess in his own way and was one of those rare people who along with my uncle actually knew what the priest murmured.

My Grandmother on the other hand is what made the pujos so symbolic to me. We woke up to the sounds of an old radio playing Mahalaya or Pujo songs. She would have already had her bath and would be donned in a new and crisp white saree with a red border. She loved the bustle of the city during those days and would often sit in the varendah during the evenings and watch the streams of people out pandal hopping.

Pujo was special to me not because of the Goddess herself. But because it was time for Baba to visit Kolkata with a suitcase full of goodies for me. Also because school/hostel was closed for a month which meant I would be able to spend some uninterrupted time with him and get to take the taxi instead of the bus wherever we went. Truly, the simple luxuries of life back then. ☺

Then of course there was my aunt’s house where you could witness the actual (as in non-commercial) version of the pujo. It bustled with family, friends and neighbors non-stop for those five days. As I grew older, hanging out with my school friends and flirting with neighborhood dudes became of prime importance. Donning the latest Bollywood fashion, partying, eating good food and just plain “adda” equated to celebrating the pujos.

So, was there anything closely religious during Durga Pujo? To most people I knew or know, being religious is fasting till Anjali, eating vegetarian food with no garlic and onion, wearing something new (can even be your underwear) on the first day of puja, lip-syncing anjali mantras with no clue as to what it means etc…etc…

To me all of this is not religion. The practices we follow blindly have nothing to do with worshiping good over evil. Wasn’t that why the Goddess herself came to this earth? Then why do we harvest evil thoughts within ourselves? Why do we intentionally hurt others and why can we not stay together in peace and harmony as a community? How about this puja we embrace the true meaning of our religion. How about we adopt, volunteer, donate, inspire, or in other words really make a difference.

Happy Pujas!

Archies Gallery

2010-09-14T13:35:00.001-07:00

A lot of Bangla Band songs revive age old memories. Today it was Bhalobasha by Porosh Pathor. "Bhalobasha maney Archies Gallery..." indeed!

I can still see the spic and span air-conditioned store with its big glass doors amidst all the dark and dingy stores of Gariahat. Entering Archie's Gallery meant stepping into this whole other world, mainly because it was a HUGE relief from the heat outside. Browsing cards took forever. Each card had to be read and reread in the quest to find one that said EXACLTY what you felt - be it for your best friend, lover or someone you wanted to convey 'we're just friends' or 'no strings attached'. There was a card in there for all kinds of emotions - and lots of emotions we did have back then. We saved our pocket money for such extravagant purchases in a time where expressing your feelings to our friends seemed to be more worthwhile than spending that money on some kind of fast food. The time we put into these cards were not limited to their duration of purchase but in their personalization with even more heartfelt hand written messages (as if those long verses in the card itself was not enough) and embellishments. We did this for all our dear friends, be it their birthday, friendship day, valentines day or no special day at all but just to say 'I'm glad we're friends' or 'you mean a lot to me'.

Today we stay in touch through Facebook and Blogs and often miss each other's birthdays. But I think we know we revisit our own memories of Archie's Gallery every now and then and in our hearts know that we still mean the world to each other.

Hamesha and forever…

2010-09-08T10:58:00.000-07:00

Waking up to an overcast sky outside took me year’s back to class VI A of Gokhale Memorial Girls School where gloomy days meant dark classrooms, Kishore Kumar songs and a strong desire to fall in love. I can still hear Mondol (Dipa) or PaNchu (Panchali) singing ‘rim jhim gire sawan’ and can still see clearly our infamous gang positioned in the different spots in front of the windows looking out and getting lost in those dark clouds. If Manisha or Gargi di were bunking class that day for some reason, they would pop their heads out from the screen wall that partitioned the senior dorm from the classroom and join in the romantic mood. So many years have passed and yet these dark clouds here in Sacramento take me to that very same spot, amidst my friends forever.

I think the best part of my life was spent in those halls and classrooms of GMGS with an amazing group of friends who I miss dearly. Cannot wait to see you all early next year.

Rebirth

2010-09-03T12:03:00.000-07:00

From lack of sleep due to her son’s early morning feedings, my best friend writes to me that in her next life if she is reborn a girl she will end up marrying a girl – that way she won’t have to deal with husbands or kids. That got me thinking what I wanted to be in my next life (and just for that I will believe in rebirth).

I want to be born a pet dog to a filthy rich celebrity. No husbands, kids maybe but I won’t have to take care of them, no work (that rules out being a guard dog) and all play, television and magazine appearances, gourmet food, designer clothes , mini mansions, and spa treatments guaranteed.

Happy long weekend everyone! woof…woof…

I'm off to the park!

2010-09-02T16:05:00.000-07:00

I have a weakness on guys with a British accent (what can I say - after all we were ruled by them for so many years), especially if they are good looking. So when I met this dad in the park (both good looking and had an accent) I found a renewed interest in taking Evani there more often. ;) In my defense, how many Intel employees do you meet in Folsom with those two attributes? To top it all how many dads do you meet who religiously take their daughters to the park and talk to you about schools and their child’s extra curricular activities AND remember your daughter’s name? SIGH!!!

Well, I’m just glad I’m enjoying the park as much as Evani is. :)

Flying High!

2010-08-25T16:57:00.000-07:00

Recently I was told that most Indians look down upon flight attendants and refuse to get their sons married to them. I was not hearing this for the first time. The general consensus amongst “educated” Indian families is definitely that being a flight attendant is equivalent to being a whore.

At least that was the case when I decided to become one. If you are that Indian and a friend who did not know this about me, you can close that jaw of yours that just dropped. Yes, really! So you can imagine the horror my family must have gone through when I said I was going to do just that.

I was lucky enough to have a parent who was not like the rest. That was both a good and a bad thing, but I digress. The SIMPLE reason I decided to take up the job was because I wanted to travel the world for free. I also wanted to get away from a place where people judged you continuously; neighbors were more interested than you in what was going on in your house and family members were at each other’s throats for ancestral properties. Ironically I landed up in an equal or worse society in the U.S. than what I tried getting away from so many years ago.

Most entertaining were the reactions I got from Indians when I told them I was a flight attendant. Let’s start with the men – shall we? The single dudes would be elated to meet you. You could tell it had always been their dream to come across a flight attendant one day. They assumed right away that you were all beauty and no brains and getting you in bed would probably be a simple feat. Their dads however would look at you with disdain and hope that as long as his son was “only friends” with her and not getting into any relationship he should be fine. Then there were the guys who would have a relationship with you but would not consider you marriage material due to the same reasons and definitely not worthy to introduce you to their families as well. He would only take pride within his friend circle to be dating a hot flight attendant or be friends with one.

The women on the other hand loathed you for being good looking and having such a glamorous career, or so they thought. Some of course thought you weren’t even pretty enough (and there were quite a few of us in this category) and wondered if you had slept with a pilot to get the job. Deep inside they wanted to be more like you but knowing their families would never allow it in a million years, they were happy harvesting the same age-old notions and talking about your “character” with others. The moms just warned you to stay away from “these sort of” girls.

Now my non-Indian friends might be thinking – what’s the big deal? You see, this career was not considered as any other job back home like it is here. Getting selected depended a lot on how you looked, your figure and your grasp of spoken English. Hence this was not a profession for the "educated". The makeup, hair, uniforms, travel, five-star hotels – all made the job seem extremely glamorous to folks outside the industry.

It is in reality a shitty job like all of you know already. It is just being a waitress with one major perk – the travel. It was just a job to me like it was to many others with absolutely NO glamor involved. Not really very different compared to all the other shitty jobs a lot of us have had in our careers. To the disappointment of many, I did not sleep around with any pilots or random men or do anything in fact that I would be ashamed of. I am glad I was not one of them who did not pursue their dreams for what others might think. On the contrary, I met a few of the smartest women, made a whole bunch of friends and traveled the globe like never before or will ever in the future – an opportunity many people will never get in their lives! These days I have to think thrice to even travel to domestic destinations let alone go to Africa or Europe. Overall I made some long lasting memories and an experience I cannot trade for anything in the world.

To the person who brought about his whole post: I need not have become a flight attendant to tarnish my “character”. I could very well have done that being the likes the Indian parents crave for their sons – an engineer, doctor, accountant, teacher or even the ideal house wife material. Sorry to have disappointed you!

Thanks to hubby for accepting me for who I was and all those friends and family members who continually encourage me to be..ummm...ME. ☺

First day of school

2010-04-02T09:45:00.000-07:00

The day had to come and I woke up this morning with a knot in my stomach. Evani has been going to a home daycare since she was three months. At six months I could not take it anymore and my guilt had me quitting my job and staying home with her for almost a year – the best time of my life. Come 18 months I was ready to get out of the house once again. Ever since she has been going to another home daycare where both daughter and mom have made some lasting friendships.

Evani turned three in Feb and both us parents decided it was time for her to move to a preschool setting. Mainly to acquire better social skills and keep herself engaged with a wider variety of activities. So the search for a suitable school started and I haggled almost all parents I knew with kids for their thoughts on various schools. Our first choice was the Gold River preschool, since that’s where we live and eventually we do plan on sending her to the Gold River Discovery school starting kindergarten. However, that preschool does not provide before and after care and only runs from 8:30am – 11:30pm. Totally not geared for working parents. So the next option was of course private preschool.

We would have loved to enroll her to a private preschool in the Gold River area – however it turned out there was only one – La Petite. It had the perfect location – very close to home – convenient for both me and Shomeek for drop off and pick up. However, on our tour there I was very unimpressed with the lack of enthusiasm on part of the teachers – a big drawback right there.

Since La Petite was our only option in Gold River, we moved focus to Folsom – with definitely a larger number of preschools in the region. A good friend suggested Kinder Care since she knew one of the teachers there personally and highly recommended him. I was very pleased on my tour there. The staff was extremely friendly and caring, the teacher very enthusiastic and the facility overall seemed wonderful. It was close to my workplace and I knew this was it.

Today is her trial day and she starts next week going three full days. I’ve been building up this day for her with all sorts of excitement. So come this morning:

Dora dress: check
Dora backpack: check
Dora straw cup: check
And we’re off to school…

The scene was quite different after we went inside. The smiles soon faded and she burst into tears!

3

2010-03-22T13:34:00.000-07:00

Between a job, toddler, home, dance school and freelance work I don’t often get time to write these days. And even if I miraculously have time, I tend to do something mindless and motionless like lying on our couch watching TV. Today is one of those days where I’ve woken up thinking I could probably sleep for another six hours and it is also the day I will be working late into the night. So here I am sitting at work thinking – screw everything, let’s blog.

Well, the real reason I am here though is the fact that I had this sudden realization at Evani’s 3 yr old checkup, how fast Evani was growing up and how long I hadn’t blogged about her. She was the reason I had started this blog thinking it would be so much fun to look back and share all of this with her.

Last month Evani turned three and what can I say, it hasn’t been any better. Its fun to have actual conversations with her (well, close to actual), do things with her and see the excitement in her eyes when she discovers something new. A dancer at heart, she will move to any music and make you move too, a chatterbox who puts mom to shame when she doesn’t utter a sound after mom just told her friends how her daughter can’t stop talking and a temper that, oh well, mom has no clue where she got that from. Her little brain thinks paint looks better on her hands and face than paper and mommy’s clothes are meant to be her dance costumes. She has more than one imaginary friend and a severe sweet tooth.

I will have to admit there are days I think my life was better off with no kids. And I have no patience for her tantrums or endless chatter and questions. However, I cannot think of a life without her in it. She keeps me alive and on my toes – no kidding! Aside from being a typical 3 year old she is a great kid in so many more ways and I am blessed. She starts preschool next month. I know I am selfish when my heart gets heavy and I think, my darling, I don’t want you to grow up so fast...

Given the choice will stay outdoors all day

Goofing around with Baba

The painter at work - at least this time the work of art is on the paper

Hudson and Evani - just a few weeks apart - love each others company

Lounging with BFF Shobi Gobi

Making rotis in her "dance costume"

Loves to be the center of attention

Well, so does baba~

Loves her 'dadabhai' and 'chordabhai' (only chordabhai featured in this pic)

Enjoying Seattle with her most favorite group of friends

Her best b'day party ever - thanks to Soma mashi and Kiran mesho and thanks to Kanchi mashi for the princess dress

The diva with her 'tude!

E-holidays!

2009-12-16T14:38:00.000-08:00

It is sad to see print being taken over by web. This year my company decided to save money by sending out their holiday cards electronically instead. I would have loved to see my design in letterpress though.

Joy Ride

2009-12-08T15:47:00.000-08:00

As I was reading this post by Amit Varma, I could not resist going back to the recent conversations with friends about their sexual harassment experiences back in India. It was funny that it was one of the topics in discussion during our ladies night out and most importantly all of us ladies had more than a couple instances to share. Most of these instances had a common venue –buses, trains and auto rickshaws and also a common outcome – the girls were too shy to voice their disdain.

Back then all it needed was a ‘dada, ki hocche ta ki?’ (dude, what the hell are you doing?) to solve the problem. All eyes would then be on the guy and in most cases they would dissolve into the crowd or voice a protest like nothing was the matter. In both cases the problem would be solved. Even that was too bold of a move by many girls. So they shut their mouth and discussed it later with friends while some guys kept this ridiculous practice alive.

A lot of this had to do with how we were brought up. Topics on sex were always hush hush. I don’t think many parents even discussed it with their children. Sex was something that happened only between married couples. Hence some guys grew more curious and frustrated while the girls were crushed under the burden of upholding their “family names”. Or else why would someone want to poke and prod a random breast in a crowded public bus and why could the owner of the breast not stop the action immediately? I still wonder…

Some of these girls grew up and laughed about such incidents when they looked back, some learnt a lesson and were finally able to stand up for themselves and some remained the same – still unable to speak up. To all my friends in the last category – its high time you changed that!

I like…I like…

2009-11-02T12:06:00.000-08:00

The thumbs up icon in Facebook is probably my most favorite tool. Considering the increasing amount of friends on Facebook, it is getting extremely hard to keep up considerable amount of communication with all. In fact I think I was much happier not knowing what half of my high school was up to. Information overload!

That’s where the ‘I like’ feature comes in so handy. I don’t have to write any comments or even pay as much attention to a thread by half a dozen people I don’t know. I can just like the photo or post or whatever and still let my friend know:

a. I saw the post/photo
b. I’m still an active friend
c. and the best of all - I don’t have to say what I REALLY feel :)

Random Thoughts

2009-10-27T11:57:00.000-07:00

Its afternoon and the heat is seeping in through the windows. I lie in my bed staring at the old fan that sways and creaks at the same time. I think of my summer vacation being spent in an air conditioned apartment and wonder why I could not have lived there forever. The room has taken the color of its curtains and I cannot remember if it was pink or blue. The radio plays old Hindi classics. I hope to fall in love with someone, somewhere at some point of time. I am oblivious to my legal sized notebooks full of class notes barely fluttering to the breeze from the fan. I need to read those if I want to do better than merely passing. But merely passing is fine with me and so I continue staring and listening.

Several years have gone by. Our house actually has air conditioning and the weather is cool. Yet I somehow feel I’m in that room with the fan and it’s so peaceful. The earphones plugged into my ears still play old Hindi classics. The only difference is in the notebook that has been replaced with the chapters in my life that dare not take me to oblivion.

Oh Crap!

2009-03-27T15:48:00.001-07:00

Today’s FB status update that generated the most number of comments for me, needs mention on my blog: Mala Paul forgot something on my way back home last night - MY DAUGHTER...oh crap!

No kidding. So this is what happened:
I left work and started driving. I had a lot of stuff on my mind. I was thinking how I was in need of some ‘white space’ in my life and was one light away from the freeway when I realized I was actually able to listen to myself think in the peace and quiet of my car. Something was off. I NEVER have peace and quiet in my car. Oh yah, Evani wasn't jabbering behind me—I had forgotten to pick her up from daycare! Thankfully I was within 5 mins of driving distance and was able to make a u-turn.

So all these days of being astonished by cases where parents forgot their kids in the car or somewhere else—now I know. Your mind just shuts off and you experience a moment of bliss.

I am soooo not having another child…
I love you doll and will never forget you ever (or at least will try not to)!

Happy Friday folks!

Inspiration

2009-03-13T09:34:00.000-07:00

Now THIS is something I would like to wipe my bottom with! Who knew the evil king Duryodhana who ordered “Cheerharan” or stripping of the saree would end up in a toilet roll - AWESOME!

Courtesy Indian By Design.

2

2009-03-03T16:55:00.001-08:00

Evani turned 2 last Friday. As soon as that happened, someone turned the ‘terrible’ switch on since she has never been crankier. She manages to throw a temper tantrum for almost everything now. The mornings are worst when I’m trying to get us both ready and out of the door.

Both me and Shomeek aren’t too big on large b’day parties. We like keeping it small and personal. In fact, we plan to eliminate b’day parties all together and go somewhere fun on her birthdays starting next year. In fact last weekend we were supposed to take her to the aquarium at SF, but due to her cold and bad weather we stayed put. Friday we celebrated with a close group of friends and family. It wasn’t the usual kids party though. Even though they did have tons of fun playing with each other and there were balloons and bubbles (bad idea!), pizza and cake, there were no life size Elmos or clowns for entertainment. Neither was there a Dora or Princess theme. I just don’t want Evani to be fixated with such characters and would like her to appreciate the company and attention, the simple concept of being able to play with friends and have a good time. That being said, we did have a great party where kids and parents enjoyed alike.

I sometimes cannot believe it’s already been two years. I cannot imagine my life without her anymore. She talks in full sentences now. Can count up to 20 and can say most of her nursery rhymes. She has a sweet tooth and sucks her thumb when she’s tired (that we are trying to get rid of). She has traveled to Calcutta, Toronto (twice), Montreal, Vancouver and Seattle and we are looking forward to her fist camping trip this May. It took her three months to adjust to daycare and she is totally a mommy’s girl. We love her more than anything!

Mala Designs

2009-02-23T16:40:00.000-08:00

As I was organizing my files I came across this invitation that I designed for the Bangladeshi concert last year.

Love & Laughter

2009-02-18T16:46:00.000-08:00

...a card from daughter
...a card and spa gift certificate from Hubby
...wine tasting
...long stemmed rose
...new found friends at winery
...good times with old friends
...mango martinis
and Russell Peters...

...I still cannot stop laughing!

(Fun x 4) + 1

2009-02-10T09:43:00.000-08:00

It was time for the McNulty Quads to visit the Paul's this last weekend and what a treat it was. I was meeting the quads again after their first b’day (I know, I’m LAME!) and it was amazing to see how much they’ve grown into little individuals. Each of them has a distinct personality. Conor and Gen are the world’s best parents and the kids are a delight to be around. As soon as they left, Evani picked up her toy phone and started calling Russ. I DIED laughing! Here are some pictures from that evening.

"anymore dogs in there to put in the oven?" - Libby & Ally

Molly, Libby & Ally with their prized possessions

Russ taking a break from the girlie stuff

Evani thrilled to have company who share same interests

Finally Russ gets in

"I want MORE popcorn!" - Russ

The McNulty Family in action

Cover Girl

2009-02-06T14:39:00.001-08:00

My Friend, Sancho

2009-02-03T11:33:00.000-08:00

I recently entered a contest for designing a book cover for Amit Varma's first book 'My Friend, Sancho' and even though I did not win, I thought I'd share my design anyways since it was a lot of fun to be working on something that was not "WORK". You can view the winning cover here. I'm happy to have been mentioned on the post atleast.

The Stay-home mom remedy

2009-01-28T15:53:00.000-08:00

Caller: As a stay-home mom I sometimes feel overwhelmed and don’t have time to take care of my needs. I’m always exhausted and end up complaining about it to my husband.

Dr. Laura: Quit complaining. That’s not what men want to hear. Put your kids to bed, apply perfume in strategic areas and tell your husband when he returns home – “Honey, I’ve had a very tough day. Can you please make it better for me?’ You do know what the strategic areas are, don’t you?

Caller: * Silence *

Listener (me): WTF????

Me listening to Dr. Laura on Talk Radio: Double WTF????

Which one are you?

2009-01-23T16:20:00.000-08:00

This came at a very appropriate time (thanks to my sis-in-law) since I seem to be working with ‘The Wafflers’ and am currently on my seventh round of revisions and ready to tear my hair out. TGIF!

Life is too short

2009-01-22T13:26:00.000-08:00

That is what I have been telling myself over and over again these past couple months, ever since we found out that our friend Poonam was detected with a rare cancer called Leiomyosarcoma. She was one of the healthiest persons I knew, taking care of what and how much she ate and exercising regularly. I was jealous of how fast she was back into her normal size after the birth of their daughter. I wasn’t very close to her, and we met only during certain get-togethers, but having to attend her funeral is something I had never dreamt of.

The whole time I sat there in disbelief as to how fast things had happened and how totally it was beyond anyone’s control. Two months ago she was fit and full of life. They were trying for a second child and hence did not pay too much attention when the nausea set in. Only after the pregnancy tests came out negative, they got more tests done to find out the cause of her sickness. That’s when she was diagnosed with the cancer at its very late stages and two months down the road she left us all. Today all her friends and family gathered together for one last time at her funeral to pay our respects.

At his eulogy, a very good friend of both Poonam and Prabhu, said something which is going to stay close to my heart for a long time to come. He mentioned that even though they were such good friends, they did not meet as often as they would have liked to. Life was just way too busy for them both.

That is so true in all our lives. We are always too busy to spend precious time with those whom we love or do things that bring us fulfillment. Somehow are jobs eat up most of who we are in the quest for having the means for a decent living and providing for our children. I hope we can all get out of this vicious cycle and open our eyes and heart to things that matter the most, cherish the good things we have, live our lives in a way that makes us complete.

To Prabhu, Jiya and the parents, may all of you have the strength to continue on in your lives the way Poonam would have wanted you to.

This post is in memory of:
Poonam Gaur
September 6, 1974 - January 16, 2009

The Bollywood Debacle

2009-01-20T14:07:00.000-08:00

After much hype over Slumdog and Indians fuming over Boyle for showing slums and even more slums, I think it will be interesting to shift our attention to the recent big banner Bollywood releases those depict 18th Century Rab in the 21st Century, Harvard MBA grad who writes handwritten diaries and draws his own tattoos with both hands, Gay couples getting their green cards in a year and to top it all Chinese people speaking Hindi. Here are a few awesome reviews from fellow bloggers that are actually more entertaining than the movies themselves. Get comfortable and grab your popcorn. This will be worth it.

Rab ne Bana di Jodi
Ghajini
Dostana
Chandni Chowk to China

Jai Ho!

2009-01-15T12:42:00.000-08:00

Jai Ho to the team of Slumdog Millionaire and especially to A.R.Rahman. So well deserved. I just had to share this video though - I died laughing! I think we need more 'singing & dancing' in this world. :)

2009 already???

2009-01-07T11:42:00.000-08:00

Where did ’08 go?

We ended it in the perfect way. Well, not that freezing one’s behind is perfect in anyway, but Toronto was fun. It was the company that mattered and spending valuable time with my best friend and her hubby was very rewarding. This couple loves Evani like their own. At times we were confused as to who her parents were. She was treated like a princess and showered with love beyond any means.

True friendship is hard to find and when such a thing exists, you feel honored to be a part of it. That’s what I share with Sapto. Having known each other since 5th grade, we’ve been together through many journeys in life and have still stayed strong. However, it is her husband, Robin who is truly a special gift. For him to embrace his partner’s friendship with love, warmth and respect is extraordinary. We love you Robin & Sapto and are extremely proud to have you in our lives. 2008 couldn’t have ended more perfectly.

However, nothing in life is ever perfect. The year also ended with a friend being diagnosed with stomach cancer that will have her leaving us very soon. A miracle is what her family and friends are waiting for now. This New Year I could only wish for strength and courage for her three year old daughter.

To all my friends and family, I wish you good health in 2009.

Slumdog Millionaire

2008-12-22T11:21:00.000-08:00

“Brimming with humor and heartbreak, Slumdog Millionaire meets at the border of art and commerce and lets one flow into the other as if that were the natural order of things. Sweet.” – Rolling Stone

I couldn’t agree more. Undoubtedly the best movie of the year! The film is a visual wonder, thanks to Anthony Dod Mantel’s exquisite cinematography and Danny Boyle’s brilliant direction. And how could I not mention A.R. Rahman. It comes as no surprise that the soundtrack is an absolute explosion of genres, cultures, and sounds.

Before I watched the movie, I had read several reviews and as I had expected I did run into a few Indian writers who found Boyle to be obsessed with capturing the ‘real India’ and thought he lit every tail on fire to make it work for his primary audiences in the West. I have to admit some scenes were over-dramatized for effect – but at the end of the day it IS a commercial movie and not a documentary, so get over it. And I do not know if any of these critiques have ever actually visited or spent any time in the slums – I know I haven’t, so I’m not judging. Being an Indian I cannot deny any of the events take place just because it makes me think that India is being shown in a bad light to the rest of the world. In fact Indians are always defensive in this same manner whenever a foreign director approaches to make any movie related to India that is somewhat close to real. Well, if that really bothers you, get your ass off that snug couch of yours and go do something about it apart from criticizing the rest of the world for making India look bad. I wonder when these people read the newspapers with ‘real stories’ of attacks, murders, rapes, prostitution, police and political corruption, child labor and girl child abortion, do they usually go ‘Oh my God, what if some Westerner reads today’s paper? What will they think of India? Or even as a matter of fact when they watch any Bollywood movie which focuses on ‘real India’, are they concerned about what the world will think or are they at peace knowing it will only be seen by the Indian population. I guess the foreign directors should be focusing more on costume changes and snowy alps for a song and dance sequence rather than entering our slums to make a movie on India.

I have no qualms recommending this movie to my non-Indian friends and I don’t feel any less Indian for that.

Ho Ho and Huh?

2008-12-16T10:35:00.000-08:00

We don’t usually celebrate Christmas at home but since I love the holiday, I rely heavily on my workplace to get me into the spirit. With my last two companies, the holiday season was a big deal - trees, decorations, parties, music, bonuses, gifts and copious amounts of food.

Come this year, with economy down in the dumps, companies are cutting down on the parties and bonuses. Understandable. But at my new workplace things are worse, not because of the economy, but the total lack of spirit in everyone. When I walk into our side of the building I do not see a trace of holidays apart from maybe a couple tiny snowmen sitting on one of the desks. Only one vendor showed up with a cookie basket that was devoured in a few seconds and now we are left with nothing. But this morning just sucked the last straw out of me.

Before I tell you what happened, I need to describe in short, the way our office is set up. All the account executives and their teams are in one end of the building and the accountants and designers in the other. Now why would someone pair up graphic designers with accountants – God only knows. In a gist, our side is BORING.

So this morning as I walk into our side of the building I notice gifts on everyone’s desk. I am excited (who wouldn’t be?). But as I enter our corner I realize that the three graphic designer desks are void of such pleasantries. It means that only the boring accountants received presents from Santa. And of course we had to bear the squeals of delight as those presents were being opened. I tell ya - if Santa doesn’t arrive at the designer desks pretty soon I will be merrily PISSED!

That being said, this holiday season SUCKS! I miss my ex-coworkers and all the fun that we had. Ironically this has been my most creative job with the least creative workspace.

I need many a more mango martinis to make me go…

HO! HO! HO!

I should've…

2008-12-12T13:39:00.000-08:00

Changed before going on a long walk. Now I’m sitting in my sweaty t-shirt at work.

Packed my salad in a larger Tupperware. I just made a huge mess on my desk while tossing it with dressing.

Uploaded my own play list into the Shuffle that I am borrowing from hubby. Wouldn’t have had to listen to Himesh Reshammiya. I doubt if Shomeek has ever listened to his Hindi play list. I also doubt whether Himesh has ever heard himself singing.

Avoided talking about Himesh. That way I would've NEVER Googled him

Skipped reading this post on India Uncut. Now I cannot stop myself from reading random sexual dilemmas and laugh out loud for which I need to come up with an excuse real quick.

Happy Friday folks!

Lost Love

2008-12-10T16:05:00.000-08:00

Caller: I would like to request a sentimental song from any SRK movie
RJ: Is there anyone you would like to dedicate this song to?
Caller: Yes, I would like to dedicate this song to my ex-girlfriend who I did not marry since it would make my parents unhappy. But she still remains close to my heart and I am very happy for her in her new life.

WTF???

You know what? I think this guy is NOT happy. I’m sure his ex-girlfriend is doing real well in her career and love life while he is stuck with a bride his parents picked for him, who does nothing productive, but pick his brain in return. I hate guys like this. I think I even knew one at a point in time. YIKES!

Who's the retard here?

2008-12-05T16:11:00.000-08:00

Just after I posted the retard picture in my previous post, I received this photo from Evani's daycare. Of course I had some fun at my daughter's expense. I would love to share this with her when she's older. :)

Click on the image to read the bubbles.

Just for laughs

2008-12-05T13:43:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Mattu who sent this and a very happy Friday to all my retarded friends!

Type

2008-12-04T15:53:00.000-08:00

I hardly ever write about my work or related topics on this blog. From hereon I would like to do that more often. I am lucky enough to do what I really love for a living. I know a lot of friends or family who cannot say that for themselves.

That being said I would like to share some inspiring type treatments from iLT

Just nothings

2008-12-03T14:09:00.001-08:00

New look. Old me. Literally old me. I was told by one of my co-workers that I wasn’t losing any weight due to my age. So now I am old AND fat – thank you very much! Just the motivation I need to run an extra mile at the gym. Running has been really hard lately. I think it IS the age. She was right! Having the hardest time losing any weight. Is that making me frustrated? I think I should eat now.

I think I would lose weight if:
• Someone paid me enormous amounts of money for it
• I had a personal chef, maybe a personal trainer would help too
• A new finding suggested that mashed potato and ice-cream can help shed some pounds

White space still persists in my new look. I need more of it in real life. There are so many things I want to achieve and so little time. Days are getting crammed and I end up with nothing done.

That does not stop me from dreaming. I can get enough of that done at work since it is so quiet here. Today is not an exception. It is like this all the time. I am not used to such silence. I miss my loud and noisy ex-colleagues. Thanks to Dubai Radio City 101.6 FM. It makes me want to dance. Their Desi Mix is the best, especially on Thursdays.

TDC has a performance coming up end of Jan. I have NO idea on content. I think it will be a dedication to the Mumbai attacks. That is ALL I can do now. It is frustrating. Maybe I should eat now. This way I will never lose weight. Someone needs to pay me big bucks. Maybe some of those idiots who drove the country into recession and made crazy dough for themselves. Maybe those guys are old and fat. Maybe it’s not me.

Please feel free to follow my blog and make me feel important. Become a follower TODAY!

Media: The REAL terror?

2008-12-01T16:33:00.001-08:00

According to me, the terrorists always win when they get EXTENSIVE media coverage after every attack and I won’t be surprised if we see a movie released next year on the recent Mumbai attacks. Instead of converting news to drama, they really need to take a step back and let the police and army do their jobs.

I was more shocked at the media frenzy than I was with the Mumbai attacks. Don’t get me wrong. I am equally hurt, angry and horrified with what happened. But as I said, I sat in disbelief watching NDTV live and how their reporters dramatized every single thing. In one instance they interviewed this lady who had just been rescued from the Taj hotel. She seemed totally in control of herself and mentioned how their wing had been safe all along and how cooperative the hotel staff had been. However when one of the NDTV reporters later reiterated what she had said – it came out as she was horrified and how she would never be the same again and that’s how everyone inside felt. Well, she did not for once mention or imply any of that. The worst was how one of the cameras captured a reporter trying to tug at a man’s hands, who was injured and bleeding from the open round of firing from a police jeep that was taken over by the terrorists, so that he could get a better shot of his injuries. No one showed any inclination to take that man to the darned hospital.

Terrorists are sick people to begin with. What is the point in giving them so much media coverage? Creating more terror in people than what already exists? Isn’t that what they want? Shouldn’t they JUST be shot? Why is it so hard?

Media really needs to stick to ‘news’. There was a time I considered Indian news channels to be the best, especially after coming to this country and being introduced to its lousy news channels and coverage. Currently Indian media (most part of it) is doing exactly what I hate the US media for – replacing news with entertainment and drama.

I have purposefully not written about the Mumbai attacks for so long just because I was busy taking everything in and also in a loss for words what to write when so much has already been written across different medias. In the blog world there are a few posts that I thought better than the rest and if interested you can check these out. I have pasted some excerpts from those blogs as well.

Ramesh Srivats
“Commandos are landing on the Nariman Building. They seem to be tip-toeing down. They are communicating to each other through hand signals. Secrecy & surprise are paramount. And NDTV is showing this live!!! With informative commentary on how many commandos have landed and so on. Perhaps NDTV's research has shown that terrorists only watch cartoon network during missions.”

Amit Varma
“Deepak Chopra was also on the show, speculating that the attacks had taken place because terrorists were worried about Barack Obama’s friendly overtures to Muslims. (I know: WTF?) That sounded pretty ridiculous to me, but such theories are a consequence of our tendency as a species to want to give gyan. A media pundit, especially, feels compelled to have a narrative for everything. Everything must be explicable, and television expects instant analysis.”

GreatBong
“Usually an attack of such a magnitude in India is usually given about 30 seconds of TV time on network TV typically before news of Lindsay Lohan going into rehab. But this time, our Jihadi friends have explicitly targeted “Western” peoples thus signaling their intention to be “heard” at the top of the hour.”

Pet for Paul’s

2008-12-01T10:52:00.001-08:00

Some facts when it comes to pets for the Paul family:
Mala = not a pet person.
Shomeek = LOVES pets (especially dogs).
Evani = scared of every living creature that is not human and sometimes scared of that too.

So when Evani showed the slightest excitement towards a fish tank at a friends place, Shomeek jumped at the opportunity and decided we should get a fish tank. So this Thanksgiving Evani got her fish tank and was SUPER excited with her ‘Fishy’. We got three Guppy’s and three Micky Mouse fish and quite honestly I like to watch Evani’s excitement at them swimming around. My contribution to the whole endeavor was picking out the interiors for the tank. We still need a stand for the tank. As of now it is sitting on our dining table – so that is my excuse for not entertaining this holiday season.

And I'm secretly thankful that Evani is scared of dogs, or else we would have ended up with a puppy instead of the fish.

Goddess Kali visits the U.S.

2008-11-07T15:59:00.000-08:00

Awesome costume detail by Heidi Klum at her Halloween bash this year. Now why didn't I think of this? My source:Jabberwock

NO is the new YES

2008-11-06T09:26:00.000-08:00

Well, at least that’s what I would like to believe, NO being the prevalent word in Evani’s vocabulary these days. Here is how it usually goes in the evening -

Parents: “Evani, let’s eat dinner”
Evani: “NO!”

Parents: “Evani, lets go take a shower”
Evani: “NO!”

Evani: “potty”
Parents: “you want to go potty?”
Evani: “NO!”

So, as I said, I would like to believe she actually means ‘yes’.

'Ohm!'

You know your hubby is consistent when…

2008-10-28T15:12:00.001-07:00

He buys the exact same b’day card for you as last year’s for your b’day this year again, and doesn’t believe it till I have to pull out last year’s card to prove my point. I don’t know why he wouldn’t’ believe in the first place – after all these years doesn’t he still know that I’m ALWAYS right? I seriously am.

Let’s see what else funny happened on my special day today. I decided to give myself a treat for lunch – Mc Donald’s French Fries. Not much of a treat exactly, but it was something I wanted to do for myself anyways. The closest McD to my work is inside the Folsom Walmart. So I go there only to be flabbergasted on being charged extra for some mayo with my fries. I usually get a packet of mayo instead of ketchup and this is the first time I was charged for it. I mean I know our economy is down in the dumps but when McD starts charging for mayo it starts getting a bit scary or maybe the lady in the counter was just possessive about the condiments. She even refused to give another customer an extra packet of bbq sauce.

Despite all the evil karma from the McD lady, I’ve been reminiscing about my birthdays when I was little and how different yet special they were. Since we had to wear school uniforms to school unlike schools out here, it was customary for the birthday girl to come to school in ‘color-dress’ (regular clothes) on her birthday and distribute candy while the rest of the class sang ‘happy birthday’. Everyone looked forward to that special day in their lives since only on that day the b’day girl was the focus of attention of the entire school in her special outfit. I always wanted to be that girl but unfortunately never got to go to school in a ‘color-dress’ due to the fact my birthday was always during our month long Puja Vacation. That really saddened me. However the bright side was that my birthday was always a holiday and I got to spend it with my family. My cousins would come home and my grandmother would cook special goat curry and rice for that day. My dad would usually buy me a new dress and that was about it. Yet, those birthdays were so enjoyable and all us cousins would spend the day chatting or playing games. As I grew older and started going to college, my birthdays were spent with a group of very close friends going out for lunch. We always remembered each other’s birthdays and spent hours buying a birthday card that had the most appropriate verbiage to express what we felt for each other.

Those were glorious years and I miss them. I hope the Sushi tonight makes up for all of that! ☺

Escape

2008-10-21T14:26:00.001-07:00

I looked into her eyes and knew she had secrets, the kind that if exposed could definitely ruin reputations of a lot of people in that crowded room. Not for once did I catch her attention though. Her gaze was fixed upon the ice cubes in her glass as if they held the window to the whole wide world and if only she could escape this darned party she would be getting herself lost in one of its wonders. She was beautiful and successful. Exactly the kind of lady I would like to be one day.

That day was long ago. I don’t even know where Neepa aunty is anymore. Once I had read about her in a magazine. I think she had recorded an album. I remembered her having a remarkable voice and Nazrulgeeti’s always suited her better than Rabindra sangeets. They were my favorite too. And today here I am, neither beautiful nor successful but with only one thing in common – the urge to get away from this crowd into the wilderness of that unknown world of wonders.

I have secrets too. Secrets that have nothing to do with others but myself. About things I’ve done, people I’ve loved, things I’ve witnessed and felt, things I’ve written. And I want to sing too - about all those things unsaid. But instead, I smile at known and unknown faces alike and ask the bartender to pour me another whiskey, this time on the rocks and comply with my host’s request to sing a ghazal.

Picture Perfect

2008-10-07T14:39:00.000-07:00

Finally a family photo I LOVE.

For some reason I do not like going to a photo studio for pictures. It was only once that my dad forced me to get an 'arranged marriage' photo taken at a studio back in Kolkata whose caption read 'ek chobitei biye' (transaltion: a single photograph of yours will get you married) and that was enough to keep me away from any future posing at a studio. So unlike most of my friends out here and back at home, we do not have any family portraits that I can hang on walls.

Thus my excitement about this particular photo taken by a professional photographer at a friends wedding a few weeks ago. I love it because it is no natural.

And of course I had to share this one too :)

Its about time!

2008-10-03T16:56:00.000-07:00

I finally accepted a job offer and start working at Association Resource Center in Folsom on Oct 13th. The company specializes in association and conference/trade show marketing and management services to state, national and international associations and organizations.

I did realize that it is really hard to get back into the job scene once you've taken a long break. In my case it is a year and the timings couldn't have been worse. There is an absolute scarcity of graphic design jobs in the area. Thanks to my friend Marcy, I got to know about this opening. She has been really supportive and helpful throughout this dry spell and I cannot thank her enough.

I am definitely looking forward to some adult time during my days. Now starts the process of finding a suitable daycare for Evani and having to deal with leaving her every morning in the prime of her separation anxiety phase. That I am NOT looking forward to.

Feast for the Brahmins

2008-09-16T13:24:00.000-07:00

I have always refrained from writing about my mother-in-law in this blog. But this time I cannot resist myself as what took place last night is a prime example of how backward most of us Indians are till this day and age. For those of you who don't know, my mother-in-law lives in Sacramento and has been here for nearly 20 years now. So last night she invited the sons of her close friend for dinner who will be leaving for college soon. We were also asked to join. I had just washed my hands in preparation to chop some veggies for a salad, when she requested me to taste the mashed potatoes. I scooped some of the potatoes with my finger , tasted it and told her it needed more salt with no intention of digging my finger back into the bowl. Now she must have misunderstood me and thought I would go for a second round of tasting with that same finger but even then what she said next came to me as a shock.
"Don't touch the mashed potatoes. There are Brahmins who will be eating this food!"

Did I hear that right??? Was I just taken back to the Indian caste system and told that I couldn't touch the food because I was from a lower caste? This was my initial reaction. I was mad and felt insulted on so many different levels not to mention the very basic that she assumed I didn't have manners and also because it might be okay to double dip some else's food if they were not Brahmins. I don't really know what it was but last night as I lay in bed trying to forget what had just happened, I realized that most Indians are this way (please note, I did not say 'all').

This is also the reason why our country finds it so hard to move ahead. Most of it I understand is due to lack of a better education and understanding of our religion. But what about those Indians who are educated, have respectable jobs, traveled around the globe living comfortable lives which do not bog them down with the atrocities of some heinous religious practices like in old days - people like my mother-in-law? I have met so many of them here in the U.S. It amazes me how they are still centuries behind irrespective of how modern their lifestyles might me. I am not saying for a second that being religious is a bad thing. But blindly practicing rituals in the name of religion and condemning others, is not what makes a person religious.

For most people who are acquainted with me might think I'm not religious. I am. Just not in the same way. Thanks to my father, I was never forced into any particular religion. I have always heard him mention the Bible and Quran as he did the Gita. To me, Karma is my dharma. I went to a school founded by one of the pioneers of Brahmo Samaj. Back in those years they fought for the abolition of sati and the caste and dowry systems. They gave great importance to enlightenment and education versus idol worship. They moved us ahead and it seems like now we are moving back again. The educated and affluent Indians are more caught up in donating huge sums of money to build bigger and better temples, gurdwaras and mosques in an age where our country is still plagued with poverty and death.

Some Evani Moments

2008-08-28T08:07:00.000-07:00

Olympic Fever

2008-08-19T09:55:00.000-07:00

Everyone in the stadium held their breath as she faced the challenge of the obstacle course. It was reported a few weeks ago that she had injured both her knees from a fall during training. But she is the favorite contender this year. Will she win gold and bring glory to her family who have relentlessly supported her in this entire journey? NBC of course refused to cover this event since it did not include four scantily clad women in the beach playing volleyball, but here is an exclusive coverage for the ardent readers of this blog~

She actually got up there and said 'Potty'. That alone won her the gold. She was awarded the most points for immaculate timings. The proud mother later told us in an exclusive interview that her daughter had made the entire family and country proud and all that training in the park had finally paid off. She will definitely be returning in 2012. In between she will be focusing on training even harder. She also bagged an endorsement deal from Huggies Pull-Ups - so you will be seeing a lot more of her in the potty training commercials. Finally, here is a glimpse of the medal ceremony and an example of how Americans are so famous for screwing up names ~

The Geek Squad

2008-07-09T12:09:00.000-07:00

Evani update

2008-06-13T10:17:00.000-07:00

Its been a while since I last posted an update on Evani. So for all my friends and family who haven't seen her in a while and I know you read my blog but you're just too lazy to comment (you're related/aquainted to me after all), here goes:

She is able to repeat plenty of words after me and can point to fish, tree, igloo, house and camel on her Ikea play mat. I was personally impressed with igloo and camel. She loves playing with cars. She is addicted to her bottle and I am scared she's going to take the longest time weaning out of it. She has learned to hug and kiss which totally melts my heart when she does it without being asked. However, the clever little thing that she is, she sometimes uses that tactic when she doesn't want to go to sleep. She has been climbing up the stairs for a while and has recently learned to crawl down. She calls both Shomeek and me 'baba' which actually means dad. For a 15 month old who can say camel, you would think she would be able to call me 'mamma'. She loves splashing around in the bathtub but hates the process of being changed. She carries my purse around the house saying 'ta ta' and loves being out and about. The cute things set aside, one fine day she woke up and turned into this temper tantrum throwing alien. She definitely lets you know when she doesn't like something or maybe wants to get hold of the keys or remote. Bathroom doors need to be kept close at all times since one day I did catch her in the act of dipping my cell phone into the toilet bowl and then licking it. She thrives on being independent and wants to do everything on her own. Meal times end up with more food on her entire body and floor than in her tummy.

Here is a clip of the calm right before the storm ~

The Secret

2008-06-02T10:13:00.001-07:00

I don't think I've ever been this happy to know anyone's secret as much as I've been knowing Victoria's of late. Ladies, I'm talking about Victoria's Secret and even though I cannot justify bras being that expensive - they have truly made a difference to my post baby body. For all the guys reading my blog, it is a good piece of information to have for current or future gift ideas and please let that be a gift card since I'm sure whatever you bring will be a size too small. You keep forgetting that we are not the woman in your fantasies. So for all my married girlfriends who've always thought like me:(a)what's the point in spending so much money on something that no one's ever going to see except hubby and at this point he's just glad that you are a creature with breasts and (b)I'd rather spend that money eating something criminal or getting a babysitter, I'd like to tell you I was wrong and the shaping demi's are worth every penny, and no, this time there will be no pictures posted. ;)

Bhangra Rules!

2008-05-21T15:22:00.000-07:00

Blistering Barnacles!

2008-05-19T13:46:00.000-07:00

Its funny how randomly Captain Haddock came to mind after I inflicted more pain on myself this Saturday. When temperatures soared to 105 degrees around 3pm on the 17th, a few of us insane dancers rocked the amphitheater at the Rancho Cordova International Festival. The result: blistered feet, dehydration and some terrible photographs of us dancers squinting and trying real hard to cover the pain. The concrete we danced on was close to boiling point, I'm sure, and I think I can now say I know what walking on hot coal feels like. At the end of it what came out was however, true team spirit and professionalism and an awe struck audience. The pain quickly dissolved when everyone came up to congratulate us for a fabulous performance and many said it was the best Indian Fusion they had ever witnessed. Go TDC!

And yes, I'm able to walk again! :)

Mamma Day and much More

2008-05-13T13:36:00.000-07:00

Despite suggestions from one of my fellow blogger to (a) piss off another blogger or (b) add some sexual content in order to have someone/anyone read my blog, which none of you have been doing lately, I decided to stick with my own jabberings. And in order to boost my self esteem, I did something really wild this mothers day - I got my nose pierced! Since this was such a spur of the moment thing and having not done too much research on the subject matter, I learned a few things that I need to share.

1. You really need to have a pretty nose in order to make that a focal point on your face by adding a little shiny thing.

2. Having a parrot nose does not enhance your look in any way. In fact, sometime due to the funny shape of your nose, the piercing might not be visible at all depending which angle you are looking at the face.

3. Picking your nose/tickling your brain does not seem to be an option.

4. Planning the piercing so that you get it done close to home seems to be a better option than having to drive far away if anything were to go wrong and you needed to go back to get it fixed. This also is relevant to timing it in such a way so that in case your nose was to swell up, you do not have a social commitment, or even better, a performance, a week after the piercing.

5. Sneezing hurts.

6. Inflicting pain to oneself on occasion of mothers day might not seem to be a great idea after all.

7. You might be blackmailed by your spouse that if you don't listen to him, he will punch your nose.

That being said, here is the new me ~

After the night of piercing, Mothers Day was spent at Napa Valley. Okay, this had nothing to do with getting drunk to ease off the pain. I had a friend visiting and we took her for a tour. The weather was gorgeous and the wine made me feel better in a lot of ways, especially since the pricey lunch left me only half full. All in all, I realized how lucky I am to have such a beautiful daughter and being her 'mamma' is the best thing to have happened to me.

As usual Shomeek captures the moment as is ~

A is for Abbles...

2008-04-29T22:14:00.001-07:00

B is for Ba(ll) and C is for Cowwwwwww. Evani's vocabulary keeps increasing with lightening speed. In fact I thought I heard her repeat 'airplane' after me today, it was more like 'aibay' though.

Its high time I posted an update on what's going on at my end and here it is:

Let's start with corporate America taking over our lives there for a while. A part of Intel's flash division got spun off into a new company called Numonyx and that very clearly spelled LAYOFFS. We found ourselves doing the whole routine all over again, frantic job searching, stress, lack of sleep. Shomeek left no stones unturned in getting interviews lined up. We got mentally prepared to relocate to wherever Shomeek would find a job and finally he landed one right here itself. He starts at HP on Monday as Product Manager.

On another note, our very close friend and my dance partner at TranceFusion is relocating to Seattle this June as her husband takes up a position at Microsoft (no, you may not call him when your computer starts to stop...;). I'm still not sure how I'm going to deal with her move...but I'm trying to convince myself that everything happens for a reason and that change is the only constant.

Which brings me of course to TranceFusion Dance company and its future. We are growing and performing quite a bit now and although Soma will still be at the heart of its functioning, I'm having this feeling that its not going to be the same. Once again, I'm trying to think positive. TDC is our baby and we are going to give it our all to keep it nourished. BTW, while I'm on this topic I would like to mention that we have been invited to perform at the Rancho Cordova International Festival on May 17th - so all you local readers of my blog are invited to come watch us at the Amphitheater at Capital Village in Zinfandel (right behind the new Chevy's there).

Another major change in my life has been the baby-sitting role that I've taken for a friend's 4 month old daughter. Before you shriek, I had a very valid reason to do it. Since Evani stays at home with me all day, she has become very clingy and used to undivided attention. Since we don't plan to have a second (there, now its in writing!), I figured it would be great to have another kid at home. It has been a week now and has been going great. Evani loves having 'baby' around (yes, she can say 'baby' too) but it still having a hard time getting used to me carrying Wren. I think it will be really good for her...a lot of work for me though! Oh what parents do for their kids - now I know what our parents meant when they said that...;)

Last weekend we went on an impromptu trip to Seattle and guess what - we were lucky enough to see the sun. Surprisingly it was not raining and we had a blast while I fell in love with the city. Here we are being tourists at Space Needle.

The Bong Connection

2008-04-10T10:11:00.000-07:00

Nope, I am not daring to write a review on Anjan Dutta's movie titled the same - it is finally the vacation post you have all been so eagerly waiting for - ya right! As I savor the stillness around the house with Evani napping and me not engaged in the vicious cycle of loading and unloading the dishwasher, I finally descend upon my journey to start blogging again. What I enjoy most is however my throat giving me a break from the life wrenching coughing spasms that I've been living with for the past week. My voice still seems to not have found me.

As I lay in bed last night with the eternal feeling of something being stuck to my throat, I craved the sour taste of the tamarind water that goes oh so well with 'puchka' or 'golgappa' or 'panipuri' as all you non-bongs would like to call it. There is however a distinct difference between 'puchka' and 'golgappa'. puchka tastes way better than the non-bong golgappa. There I've said it. Last time I had asked the puchkawallah at the Victoria grounds, while devouring his puchkas like there was no tomorrow, whether the water he used came from the neighboring container from which the ponies were quenching their thirst after having tugged along the very healthy uncles, aunties and their healthier Chotus or Pappus from the Marwari clan of Kolkata sightseers. I had gotten no answers. That did not stop me then and it definitely did not make me the 'Bisleri water in my puchka eating in stainless steel plates at an air-conditioned joint' kind of puchka faker. This time however, I went to my favorite puchka and chaat joint at Vivekananda Park to devour a greater number of puchkas after a 2 year break. Now you see, I am the true puchka connoisseur. I like mine from street vendors, who use their 'who knows where they've been' hands to mash the potatoes and chole. I think THAT is what brings out the flavor. For those who know me, know very well the spice level I can handle - which is like none at all. So, I like a little sweet chutney along with the regular puchka water and my puchka escapades always end with a round of 'churmur'..ummmm....This time my pseudo-umrican hubby was bold enough to join me on this venture. His request for a spicy filling had him visiting the bathroom more often that he would have liked. I on the other hand was really impressed that U.S.A. had still not played havoc with my immune system.

The immune system part did not hold true overall. I had a severe allergy attack which lasted me my entire Kolkata trip. I seemed to have lost control over my itchy and watering eyes and nose and I had to do something that I used to loathe every NRI (Non Resident Indian) for - cover my nose and mouth when out on the streets. Now my friends can finally mock me as being one of 'them.'

Vacationing back home is all about friends and family and being stuffed with food till you're ready to burst or literally throw up, is the typical Bong custom of love and affection. It always amazes me on how much things change between our trips. Sometimes I do not even recognize my nieces or nephews as they've grown so much. Its always a treat catching up with everyones lives. There is one thing in common between all though - they all seem to think we have better lives than them based on our location and vice versa. How I crave to have someone cook, clean and drive me everywhere. My friends crib about how it is so hard on them when their maids have conflicting schedules - the audacity I say!

And it is not only people, but the place in general that has changed so much. Kolkata is no longer the place where I was born and grew up in. I'm sure it is the case with all major Indian cities these days due to the economic boom that's taking place there. But my overall study of Kolkata proved quite disheartening. On taking a closer look I realized the majority of Kolkata's economic growth was coming from call centers and not from real industries. In fact the infrastructure in Kolkata does not encourage big companies to open their offices there. Road conditions are still bad. Even the new ones are crumbling down. Law and order is actually chaos and the pollution has reached new levels. Civic sense is remote. The new upper-end housing developments that are coming up are already stained with 'paan' residue. The talk of development has all Calcuttans pointing towards the glitz of the malls or nightclubs. On visiting a few of both, I wondered what percentage of the real Bengal population could really afford that stuff. The IT sector of Kolakta, Salt Lake, is piling up with call centers which has become recent hubs for sex and drugs. People find it hard to remain healthy with ongoing night shifts and education takes a back seat.

On the brighter side, Kolkata is still the cultural capital of India hosting the pioneers of creative arts. Fine and performing arts have reached a new peak and Kolkata continues on its trend to encourage both traditional and contemporary artists from all over. I was honored to spend some time with Sutapa Talukdar, the famous Odissi dancer and Sudarshan Chakravorty of Sapphire Dance Creations. At the latter meeting, my path also crossed that of one of India's leading fashion photographers, Ranjit Sinha. I'm glad I had taken Shomeek along with me. Both Ranjit and Shomeek spent most of their time talking about cameras while I enjoyed the sun and rhythm watching Sudarshan teach his new dance class geared towards stay-home moms.

This trip was special for many reasons. It was of course our first trip back home with Evani. But it was also kind of a first trip together for both me and Shomeek. During our stay there I hooked Shomeek up with a photographer friend of mine, who is now a photographer for Times of India and Shomeek did something he had always longed for. He went out with his new-found friend, once during the wee hours of morning and the other into the darkness of the night to capture some special heart-felt moments of the city. At the end, one of his morning shots got published in Times of India and and the ecstasy on Shomeek's face made my trip worthwhile.

What moved Evani however was totally different. Windows that looked out into the streets which in turn were filled with people, cars, rickshaws and of course cows. Evani would hold on to the window 'grill' and shout out 'bhow bhow' and/or 'kaak' at the crows dominating the smog filled sky. She loved the taste of fish which in turn filled my Bong heart with joy and bonded very well with our maid Manju.

And I come to the other special part of Cal. Its people, especially the ones that form the core. Not the snooty upper middle class, so called educated and wanna be 'goras' like us. Manju di has been our maid for the longest time. She had started off with being an 'aaya'/nurse taking care of my grandfather when he fell very ill. She stayed on long after he passed away to make sure my dad was taken care of. She takes care of everything for us there - the cooking, cleaning, laundry and almost everything as I mentioned. She was also the best friend my daughter had during her stay there. Manju di left no stones unturned to take care of Evani allowing for me to enjoy my vacation any way I pleased. She not only took care of Evani but made sure all family members needs got met. The best part however is she did all of this out of love more than money. That reason however stems from my dad and how he looks after her family in times of need. Baba has placed all her children in careers and given them a roof above their heads. He continues to guide them through every aspect of life just like he would do for me and my brother. I will admit sometimes it makes me feel jealous. But when I look back, I haven't done half as much for him as they do. In that respect, 'Kite Runner'. will always be a very special book as I'm sure all of us would relate to it in some way.

Having said all and so much more left unsaid, Kolkata/Calcutta remains to have a special place in my heart. Its every nook and cranny has some sort of memory that has made me what I am today.

This post ends with Shomeek's eye of the city which I feel really captures the heart and soul of the City of Joy.

Spring is in the air

2008-03-25T15:41:00.000-07:00

Okay, this is more of a disclaimer than a real post for people who are wondering whether I ever came back from my vacation. My two nephews, a 9 yr old and 5 yr old are spending their spring break with me this week. So, I hardly get time to be in front of a computer or do anything with 'me' time in it. And once they are gone I will take couple more weeks just to get back into the normal groove of things - so please bear with me. In the mean time we are all having lots of fun, enjoying the gorgeous outdoors and eating lots of yummy food.

Calcutta - here we come!

2008-02-08T10:57:00.000-08:00

I am so excited to be going back home after two years. This will also be Evani's first trip there and she gets to celebrate her first birthday with family. We leave on Monday , Feb 11th and return March 2nd. I hope not to be blogging while I'm gone - but if I can't resist sharing pictures with you, I might log in. :)

Ciao!

And then there was LIGHT!

2008-01-29T09:18:00.000-08:00

Or maybe it was 'aight'. I any case, officially it is Evani's first word...yoohooooo!!!

A peek into Evani's world

2008-01-25T09:55:00.004-08:00

Below are a few clips of Evani that pretty much covers the major part of her daily activities.

Here is Evani trying to feed herself from the bottle right after I changed her diaper. Her expression when she loses grip of the bottle is classic and cracks me up each time I watch it.

It has always been Shomeek's dream that his daughter will be a soccer player (I have no idea why!) and it seems he doesn't want to waste any time in the process. So, when Shomeek spotted the soccer ball at Ikea, he had to pick it up. Soccer training has officially kicked off. Beware my dear friend Conor - you will be needed pretty soon. (Conor is a very good friend/ex-colleague who is also a soccer coach:). Btw, here is a little secret: Shomeek likes playing with the soccer ball more than Evani does.

Evani is drawn to the remote like a magnet. However much I try to put a variety of toys out for her, she will automatically get drawn to the remote on the couch and ignore the fact that we spend money to buy her toys and that she should be putting them to use.

Cheap Entertainment

2008-01-21T15:46:00.000-08:00

It did involve a big screen and lots of unknown people, yet it had nothing to do with cable or internet. It was the monitor at SF international airport that allows you a viewing of the arriving passengers right before they actually get out into the arrivals lobby. The intention of that might be for you to get ready to receive, whoever you are there to receive, with a broad grin or something of that sort, but for us Pauls it was better than comedy night on NBC.

The best part is that most passengers do not know that they are being watched by herds of unknown people. So, their actions and emotions are absolutely genuine, and for some, pretty embarrassing if they ever found out that they were being displayed on a huge screen. I wonder if their friends or family ever let them in on the amusement.

We were there on Saturday to receive my mother-in-law, who was returning from her vacation in India. As usual her luggage was amongst the last to arrive and hence we had a pretty long wait out there. With Evani keeping herself entertained in her stroller, we resorted to observing strangers around us, especially on the screen. It was a Cathay Pacific flight that had just arrived from Hong Kong. It was intriguing to watch all the passengers. We started weaving stories on their lives based on how they were dressed for such a long flight, the luggage they carried, their facial expressions. It was fun to watch the first timers arriving in SFO trying real hard to suppress their excitement before coming out of the gates. There were the occasional nose pickers as well oblivious to the fact that they were on camera. The stilettos and freshly applied makeup of a few after the 14 or 15 hour flight put me to shame and reminded me how shabby I looked after the early morning (which is 8 am, btw) 2 hour drive from Sacramento.

The one who most caught our attention however was a guy who was at the receiving end. An Indian guy sporting a formal jacket over jeans - seemingly not an ABCD (American Born Confused Desi), who clutched a laptop with his dear life waiting for someone to arrive. The reason he had a laptop was the object of curiosity for us. He must have had a very reasonable cause for it but the fun lay in the conclusions we came up with:
1. His newly-wed wife must be arriving to the U.S. for the first time and he carried the laptop to impress her
2. He was a geeky software engineer who felt insecure without his laptop
3. He was meeting a client for business and had to start working immediately upon their arrival at the airport - nah! (this was ruled out by Shomeek)
After much discussion on him we named him 'laptop da' ('da' being colloquial for 'dada' which means 'elder brother' in Bengali) and was eager to catch a glimpse of the person who he was there for. However, amidst all the other strangers who were entertaining us, we missed that most important moment and he was gone. It reminded me of the power cuts that were bound to happen in the middle of our most favorite shows back home and so the mystery remains forever.

You writers can be on strike for as long as you want - we don't need you or your characters to keep us entertained!

Welcome '08

2008-01-08T11:49:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

I know...I know...my first post in the new year has long been due. Initially I had thought that the holidays would be more of us just chilling out at home but eventually it ended up being pretty hectic. The highlight was our Tahoe trip. It was Evani's first snow experience and she seemed to enjoy every bit of it.

The holidays being over, I find myself back into the daily groove of things. 2007 was a very special year with the birth of Evani, Wacker Design Group and TranceFusion Dance Company. These all came with a huge responsibility as well. I just hope this year I am able to balance every aspect of my life.

2008 started off with Wacker Design moving into an office space in Roseville, thanks to some wonderful friends - YAY! We're not fully functional there yet, but that's not too far away.
TDC has been invited to perform on Jan 26th at a fundraiser for the cyclone victims of Bangladesh. We have also set ourselves in full gear for offering classes to adults and children.
I am continuing to knock on doors to find someone in India who can help Dr. Ernie Bodai introduce the Breast Cancer Stamp there. All efforts in this regard is seeming futile, but I will keep trying as long as I can.

On the home front, Evani has been growing rapidly. She is a burst of energy and is trying to take a few steps if you hold her. We will finally be making our trip to India with her mid Feb. Cleaning poopy diapers is just getting worse by the day due to the stench. I seem to smell poop everywhere. Shomeek's huge nose is finally coming in handy - he seems to identify that Evani has pooped from miles away. I continue to watch crappy movies that Shomeek gets from Blockbuster as that seems to be the only form of entertainment for us. We have been trying hard to control our urge to eat out, which results in the fact that I am having to cook regularly...uurrghhhh!!! From the onset of '08 I have been craving chocolate brownies with vanilla ice-cream. The craziest thing I did however was meet in person a friend I made online (I have not heard the end of this from my other friends). Thankfully he didn't turn out to be a criminal or a weirdo. In fact I am really glad I met him. He seems to be a wonderful and talented person and he has become a very good friend (okay, you know who you are, I deserve to be treated for saying such wonderful things about you on my blog:).

All in all, 2008 has started off pretty well. Lots of things to do and greater heights to be achieved. Thanks to all family and friends for being around and supporting me in every endeavor of mine. I hope to spend some more time with all of you this year.

Inspired

2007-12-29T01:26:00.000-08:00

Tonight, after nearly a year, I went to the theater to watch a Hindi movie and I am really glad it was 'Tare Zameen Par'. Not only does it a have a solid storyline and a strong message, but it stood out to me artistically as well. The simplicity of its creation made it appealing to me. It was not over dramatic in trying to make you sob and feel very sorry for the characters. It is not my intent to review the movie or tell you the story, the reason I'm writing about it lies in the fact that I strongly related to it in various aspects to the minutest detail. When I was in boarding school we used to push the food with the fork (held in our left hand) into the spoon (held with our right) and shove it in out mouths. That is exactly how they showed it in the movie. You the reader might be thinking - so what's the big deal - and I wish I could explain. It felt like I knew exactly how the nine year old boy felt the day his parents waved him goodbye his first day at boarding school.

A very inspirational movie and a must see for especially the Indian parents. Gosh, I think I'm in love with Aamir Khan all over again. :)

Think India

2007-12-20T09:03:00.000-08:00

India saw the advent of its first television commercial in the late 70's. At that time they were sparse as was the programming. As Doordarshan launched its mega soap opera's, 'Hum Log' and 'Buniyaad' in the 80's we saw an influx of advertisers such as Maggi Noodles, Vicco and Nirma whose sales actually boosted for their price quality positioning. It was not until the early nineties with the broadcast of satellite TV by foreign programmers like CNN followed by Star TV and a little later by domestic channels such as Zee TV and Sun TV that commercials took a front seat in the Indian homes. Companies jumped in to sell their product to this vast population absolutely hooked to their television sets. Advertising companies went all out to be creative and thus started the legend of brilliant television commercials that not only sold products; but told stories, made us laugh and cry and most importantly THINK.

Since then, Indian commercials have gotten better and bigger and has left its mark on the global advertising world. They have in fact become mini-movies which casts mega Bollywod actors and uses background scores compiled by renowned music directors. Overall, they are creative, fresh, soul stirring and an absolute treat to watch.

Here are some of my recent favorites.

White Space

2007-12-17T10:07:00.000-08:00

For all of you who know the designer in me as the advocate of 'white space' - this redesign was bound to happen. :)

Hot Cross Buns

2007-12-13T11:07:00.000-08:00

As my little darling snoozes on my chest, what better to do than play along with my fellow bloggers (ArSENik. to be precise ;)and disclose to everyone my taste in music. Now there goes my image!

Rules (as per 'I don't know who at this point'):
1. Put your MP3 player/Media player on shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write the name of the song no matter what.

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY?” YOU SAY?
Ocean Monsoon Night - Prem Joshua
I think this is time to reveal I have ADD.

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
The language of Innocence - Bikram Ghosh
Me blushing & batting my eyelids :)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Jao Chere Chole - some Bangla band
No strings attached - what can I say.

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Yaad hai - The Salman & Shilpa movie on Aids
That's exactly how I feel - yaad hai woh life before husband and baby.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Krishna - Colonial Cousins
I've been trying to tell my MIL that I am religious - no idea why she doesn't believe me.

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
O Rey Chori - Lagaan
Hmmm...should I be coming out of the closet???

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Lalkaar - Rang de Basanti
Totally.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Purani Jeans - Ali Haider
So purani that we still haven't been able to convince dad to use a computer.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Masty Masty - Ali Zafar
Absolutely!

WHAT IS 2+2?
Woh Kagaz ki Kashti - Jagjit Singh
Mathematically challenged from birth, that ship has sailed since Madhyamik - never to return.

DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Khoya Khoya Chaand - Khoya khoya chaand
Currently she has switched from 'khoya khoya' phase to 'crying crying pacche' phase ever since she returned to Canada from vacationing in Kolkata.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Ban Ke Tera Jogi - Phir Bhi Dil Hain Hindustani
:)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Amader Janya - Suman Chatturje
Darshonik!

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Sabse bara Rupaya - Bluffmaster
Ha..ha...I wish!

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Chand Chupa Badal Main - Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Kuch Khushbuye - The Salman & Shilpa movie on Aids
I think they are referring to my dirty socks here.

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Love Theme - Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam
If it was my pick it would have been 'ami kolkata-r rosogolla'. I would still be happily single till date.

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Rainforest - Vanraj Bhatia
Kinda like this one.

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Gaan Bhalobeshe Gaan - Chandrabindoo
Sa-Re-Ga-Ma

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Still Life - Prem Joshua
Even more darshonik...*dirghonishash!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Earthquake - Vanraj Bhatia
What can I say - I'm only friends with people who are addicted to food which helps them sustain their very 'healthy figures'.

WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
Hot Cross Buns - Baby Genius
Reflects the random nature of my current life.

In memorium

2007-12-09T15:25:00.000-08:00

It is a bit eerie to some point that right after I write a post on the Indian Girl Child, we get a phone call on another relevant issue that has hit home. We are normally used to reading about social issues or watching them on the news and creating our own theories to discuss them in forums. We think we feel the pain and misery of the people involved in such incidents and try to sympathize or show our frustration towards this enlightened clan. It is however something else when such things happen to someone near and dear - it becomes REAL.

Last Friday, during our weekend calls to India, my husband found out that a very close cousin had been pronounced dead, after eleven days in a nursing home in Kolkata due to an overdose of sleeping pills. I had met her briefly on a few occasions during my wedding, from which I had deciphered her being a very successful, independent and confident individual with a very strong personality. Later I found out that she was indeed a favorite in my husband's family. Having lost her father at a very early age, she had taken over the family business and had run it successfully for several years since then. She single handedly traveled to various parts of the world making business deals at an age where we bunked college to catch the first day first show of Shahrukh Khan's new movie.

She wasn't labeled as the kind to have an arranged marriage. However, not having met her match, she was finally convinced by family to go ahead with it. The search began and a very suitable upper-middle class educated guy with a great job at hi-tech was found to tie the knot. It seemed to be the perfect social match, until after a few weeks of the wedding it was found that the guy had an illicit relation with his first cousin and the family had arranged his social marriage to keep that a secret from the community. Basically his marriage would act as a cover for him to continue his relation with his cousin. The groom and family also suggested to their bride to have an open marriage, where she would be free to have relations with other men as she chose.

The newly wed bride was distraught and her family immediately filed a criminal case against the groom and his family. As soon as the case was filed, the groom quit his cushy job and along with his family went absconding. For all of us who has any idea on the leagl system of India knows that any court case takes forever to get resolved. The humiliation is never ending and there is no guarantee on true justice being attained.

The result - a very young, beautiful, intelligent and sincere girl who having struggled all her life, finally gives up hope and commits suicide. She is taken to the hospital where her mother and sister prays every night in hope her child will come through. After seven days, of what I can imagine to the family as being 'hell', and having no will to fight for her dear life, her soul is finally put to rest on Friday, December 7th.

There are several such cases happening every year in India. The most common we hear about are Indian guys living overseas, ties the knot with a girl chosen by his family only to find out later that the guy is already married to someone in the country where he currently resides. Either the guys are too darned scared to let their parents know that he has already found someone who is not of his own caste or creed and agrees with this parents to get into matrimony to keep them appeased or the paretns do it knowingly to hide the fact that their son is (a) gay or (b) has married someone who is not a social match in their eyes. Either way, what I don't get is how can these people be so stupid to think they will be able to keep these second wives totally in the dark forever. And moreover, why would an educated person do something like this in the first place?

Over and over again, something like this happens and it crushes my hopes of seeing the developed India we so hope for. I continue to be drawn back to my motherland but I return just a bit more frustrated. I am often surrounded with guilt for not doing anything to rectify the situation, but I just don't know where to start.

The Girl Child

2007-12-04T10:18:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning very distressed due to a report I watched on BBC World last night on how U.K. Indian women were aborting girls. The Oxford University study suggests 1,500 girls are "missing" from the birth statistics in England and Wales from 1990 to 2005. One British woman, who spoke to the BBC anonymously, said she had an abortion after a doctor in India found she was to have a fourth daughter. Last time I checked, finding out the sex of a baby in India was illegal. Then how was this happening? BBC did an undercover filming on a renowned gynaecologist, Dr Mangala Telang - a doctor recommended by the British High Commission to find out that not only does she secretly perform the ultrasounds to reveal the sex of the unborn child but also provides recommendations to those couples who wish for an abortion after having found out they are having a girl.

There's some disturbing new evidence in India about a growing gender imbalance in the country that's home to more than a billion people. A report published jointly by the Indian government and the United Nations Population Fund shows an alarming drop in the number of baby girls. An estimated seven million girls have gone missing from India's population over the last 25 years. Some of them will have been killed after they were born, or allowed to die within their first few days. But most of them will have been aborted. Selective abortion is happening all over India as ultrasound machines - which carry out the scan - have become cheaper, but it has always been worst in Punjab and Gujarat.

It is even more disturbing to find out that it is the elite class of India that mostly indulge in such practices mainly because they have easy access to ultrasound machines and have the money to pay for such illegal practices.

Whenever, I make a trip back to India, I find my friends and family gloating about how rapidly India is developing on its way to becoming a super power in the very near future. When I ask them questions on this growth, I often find out that their theories are based on availability of hi-tech jobs that have sprung up in the past few years due to heavy outsourcing from the U.S., easy access to foreign merchandise, huge lifestyle change that imitates the ones seen on Hollywood/Bollywood movies and most recently the increasing value of the Rupee. No one talks about education, the discrimination, the corruption, the superstitions that till date tie our society down and worst of all no one does anything about it. How does such a society develop? How does such a country become a super power? How come we don't admit what it true and try to bring a change?

I am proud to be a mother of a girl.

9 months

2007-12-03T14:09:00.000-08:00

I know its high time I posted an update on Evani. Its just that I sometimes find it hard to believe that it has already been nine months. Time has just whizzed past and I'm lucky enough to have savored it all.

Measuring at a little over 2 feet and weighing in close to 17 lbs (not quite there yet) she seems to be preparing herself well for America's Next Top Model. She even has the attitude for it (oh dear lord - save me!) and will let you know when she is not pleased with anything. There are time she needs undivided attention, but luckily for the most part she is happy keeping herself busy. The two bottom pearly whites have popped out and she loves to chew on whatever comes her way. Her recent favorites are mom's chicken stew, bread and bananas. She can eat bread any time of the day and does an awfully good job pecking at it on her own. She absolutely loves to be entertained by dad, but when it comes to anything else she needs her mom. She will clap for you when you say 'tai tai tai...mamar bari jai' and if you are lucky enough, you'll get a squeal along with it. Her very active lifestyle takes her all around the house these days, however she still quite hasn't figured out how to go into the sitting position from crawling. Her body mass being on the lower side - she is sometimes still unstable while sitting and will occasionally topple over and will then go into a confused state of whether she should cry or not. She loves books, not to read but chew on them instead. Her vocabulary consists of 'ooohhhh' (she's been saying this for the longest time), dada, mamma, and occasionally 'babba' along with various other sounds she manages to do with the clicking of her tongue. She loves to explore under the couch, yank at any wires that accidentally come within her reach and lick any kind of phone she manages to get her tiny hands on. In fact one day I found my cell phone dripping in saliva after which it refused to work for one whole day.

All in all, she is 24/7 entertainment for us and growing rapidly each day. I am glad I live in an age where I can share her progress with all of you via my blog, pictures and video. She is very lucky to have all of you as her well-wishers.

Zzzzzzz..........

2007-12-02T21:51:00.000-08:00

This is a first - I sat to write something and totally lost my chain of thought. Its only 9:30pm and sleep is devouring me from every angle. I haven't been this sleep deprived or tired in a while.

Butt Friends Forever

2007-11-29T21:57:00.000-08:00

Kaleidoscope

2007-11-26T22:22:00.000-08:00

The past week/weekend has been colorful (and sometimes the lack of it) in its own ways. In the seven years that I've been married, I've realized that spending a whole week with your vacationing spouse 'at home' can get a little out of hand. My schedule gets entirely thrown off track, house seems to get messier, chores keep getting suspended, and we end up sleeping for half the day, which means I have to cram everything I need to do in the other half. And life isn't half as colorful without some major poop duty. Evani has been going at it for nearly a week now. Not her fault though - I think she reacted to the yogurt I introduced in her diet a week back.

Speaking about seven years of marriage - this Thanksgiving morning after both husband and wife wake up, we wish each other a very groggy happy anniversary. Still trying to recover from the 3am diaper duty and in the process of another 6am one (btw, both of which hubby took care of as part of my anniversary gift ;), we joke about how life has changed and what a way to start this special day. This year we were hosting both lunch and dinner and I could see a whole day of cooking ahead of me. So I jumped at the opportunity of having hubby fetch breakfast - since that would be all the anniversary celebrations we would have for the day. So the day goes on. We (actually I) cook, clean, have my MIL over for lunch, clean up after lunch, prepare for hosting friends for dinner. All along we keep wishing each other 'happy anniversary' just to reassure ourselves that this day IS special and we WERE doing something about it. Just as I was finishing up the dinner preparations, hubby offers to take the trash out. Halfway yelling from the garage he asks me to check the trash calendar for recycle or green waste. I go to the calendar stuck on my refrigerator door and as I look for the date, I stand dumbfounded. I yell back - 'Honey, are you sure today is Thursday?' Okay, I'll admit, I did not say 'honey'. I'm a typical desi wife who is incapable of showing any public affection towards her husband. I get the reply - 'Of course - today is Thanksgiving AND our anniversary. Why do you ask?'
Me: 'Ummmm...apparently today is NOT our anniversary - the 23rd is tomorrow, Friday!'
Him: 'huh? Are you sure you are looking at the right month?'
Me: 'This is November - right?"
Him: 'Yup'
Me: 'Yes, I am looking at the right month'
Him: 'Today is not 23rd? Our anniversary is not on Thanksgiving?'
Me: at that point I can barely control my laughter at the whole situation and have to break it to him by saying 'NO'.

Life has surely changed drastically. We get along just fine even if we forget special dates (or mix them up), by not geting each other gifts and wanting only peaceful sleep or ready made food in exchange. No, Shomeek did not end up doing diaper duty the next morning of our actual anniversary and we did share the whole episode with our friends at Thanksgiving dinner and had a good laugh. But we did have Thai take out for our anniversary dinner on Friday. It was peaceful to sit at home and have a quite dinner watching Evani roll around on the floor in front of us and giggle and squeal in delight for no apparent reason. Life is colorful - it just depends on what patterns you make out of it.

Hope all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving! I'm sure I did.

bhai-er kopale dilam fota

2007-11-14T15:39:00.000-08:00

Classical meets Contemporary

2007-11-09T09:29:00.000-08:00

The past few weeks has been very invigorating due to several dance experiments and choreography. I had been in a mode of trance, where I lived and breathed dance till we got done with two of our shows last week which enthralled the audience. The satisfaction lay in the fact that we were able to introduced a whole new genre of Indian contemporary dance to Sacramento. more info and pics.

Blast from the past

2007-11-06T22:05:00.000-08:00

Mrs. Dutta Roy of Gokhale Memorial Girls Hostel - our head matron, who referred herself as the MOTHER of GMGS. The reason I bring her up is because I very recently received an email from my cousin who mentioned having run into Mrs. Dutta Roy recently in Kolkata. She seems to be very lonely, having no one to take care of her other than a sister in the U.S. whom she is financially dependent on and has to live with her out of no choice of her own. She now wants to look for a place to stay in Kolkata and figure out a way to earn her own living. My cousin will be helping her and has asked me for some financial help which I will be more than willing to extend. After all I did spend more time with her than I ever have with my own mother.
The email took me back to the hot and humid Saturday afternoons, where we all lay in our 'girdle beds', too full of the chicken stew lunch to even move a limb. I can still here the mechanical screeching of the fans and the melodious "mathar ghono chool jokhon...morubhumi hoye jaye" followed by "shonibarer barbela...kyaaaNch" playing on the radio. We had not television in the hostel back then and the radio was the closest we got to entertainment. We would wait all week to grab the little black box on the weekends to listen to the songs of the year's biggest hit - QSQT. Aamir Khan was 'THE' man back then and his picture postcards were our most valuable possessions.
I cannot believe how time has changed and I've come such a long way in my life. My art teachers 'Practish' and 'Murgi' (I hope they are not reading this ;) would probably drop dead if they heard I had ended up being a Graphic Designer. I still remember scoring 8 out of 100 in one of my art exams. I was asked to draw a scene in the living room and my teachers had not been able to differentiate between wall, floor and ceiling in my sketch.
There is just so much I want to write about growing up in a boarding school. The most I miss is the friendships we shared. We were an extended family and we spent more time with each other than we did with our own families. Everyone had a reason for being in a boarding school at such an early age, and that reason made our bonds stronger. However much we loved staying with friends, we missed family big time. I still remember being admitted to Pratt Memorial hostel at the age of 5 and my very first day there I remember telling my aunt who had gone to drop me off, that I feel a pain in my chest. I wish I could have shed a tear that day - it might have eased the pain I felt.
I'm glad I received the email about Mrs. Dutta Roy. It made me think and thank a lot of people who played a major part in my growing up. Gokhale Memorial Girls School and hosterl - I shall always remember you.

My precious lil' pea

2007-11-01T10:10:00.000-07:00

Evani's first Halloween! :)

30

2007-10-30T10:11:00.000-07:00

I realized I had really turned 30 when on Sunday Shomeek offered to take me out for an elaborate birthday breakfast at some fancy place and I declined the offer wanting to stay in bed for a while longer and had him get me a chocolate croissant instead from Starbucks. For years I had planned that I would really celebrate my 30th by visiting the hottest night spots in SFO. But I realized I no longer enjoy going to nightclubs and dancing to Usher or 50 cents - I would much rather pick up my saree at knee level and try to imitate the earlier Govinda moves to equally enthralling 'rickshawwalla' music. That is precisely what I did the Saturday night before my birthday. Thanks to Sacramento's late Durga pujo festivities, it was Ms. Jojo night on Saturday and the first time I ever heard the song 'oooi maa ami laaje more jai!' What can I say - but that song just brought the best of 30 yrs in me and the typical kolkata bishorjon dance came to life. I missed the old Jeetendra/Mithun look alikes sporting the tight white shirts, pants and shoes (yes, all in milk white) joining me in my venture, but there were enough intoxicated characters to keep me company.
My actual birthday on Sunday was on much higher standards though. My dance troupe had a performance at the California Telegu Samiti annual program and our performance was a HUGE success. Very much in contrast with my dance moves the previous night - that was a treat in itself. So behold my friends, at 30 I'm just getting started!

The Lens

2007-10-29T14:23:00.000-07:00

I always complain about Shomeek spending way too much money on his photography equipments for nothing, but I have to admit being very impressed with his recent purchase: the 17-40L Cannon lens. He purchased it right before we left on vacation and the pictures from our Canada trip turned out way beyond my expectations. However, the real reason for me liking the lens is - I think it does a good job when it comes to my pictures. I am usually not photogenic and very rarely like a picture of myself. However, this new lens (and of course Shomeek will kill me if I don't include his photographic genius) has surprised me each time and I am really beginning to like myself in photographs. So good job Shomeek and below is a shot from this weekend's Durga pujo that I really liked. Of course I was shunned by all the 'mashi's'...ooops 'didi's' actually for not dressing up to the occasion (meaning not enough bling).

Hail the Indian Super Hero!

2007-10-29T11:48:00.000-07:00

Just thought I'd share some laughs ~

Pre-pujo depression

2007-10-25T10:12:00.000-07:00

Yes, I did say 'pre' and no I'm not out of my mind, and a bigger NO, this is not a continuation of my postpartum depression and it is neither 'that' time of the month. The real reason: Sacramento is yet to see the face of Maa Durga and I cannot tolerate to see anymore pictures of my beloved friends on orkut, dazzling in their pujo attires. Which brings me to phase 2 of my depression - I have NOTHING to wear at our upcoming pujo this weekend. 2 reasons for that too - 1. None of my traditional clothes fit me post baby. 2. Whats the point in dressing up - my daughter will be drooling on the silk anyways! Well, usually I'm not that shallow minded as to have my attire dampen my spirits, but it doesn't help when we have Durga pujo after bijoya and 'Lokkhi'pujo (i refuse to say 'lakshmi').
Anyhoo...I will stop ranting now and maybe write about something fun for my next post, to get me out of this crappy mood.

A breather!

2007-10-21T23:35:00.000-07:00

Who knew writing for the blog would eventually become a source of sanity for me. This past week was a whirlwind of deadlines and with the looks of it, seems like the next week will be equally crazy. When I made the decision to quit having a full-time job a couple months ago, little did I know that I would end up being busier than ever. My imagination actually entailed being able to spend quality time with my little one, read books, watch movies, listen to music, catch up with old friends. In reality I've done all (with the exception of reading, as I'm taking a break from after having read Shantaram recently which took me forever to complete)and much more. I teamed with my previous colleague and good friend Marcy (who I don't think reads my blog :() to start our own Graphic Design company while on the other hand I teamed with my friend Soma to start an Indian contemporary dance company. Both have been going well, hence my crazy work schedule. I am currently working on a corporate branding project and also choreographing simultaneously for two dance shows to be held a week apart from each other. Not to mention, I have to plan and communicate practice schedules, shop for costumes, prepare & rehearse, coordinate with organizers, create ads, go for client meetings, prepare boards for presentations, etc...etc...
Okay, before any of you get me wrong - this is not me whining, but me organizing my thoughts. I feel productive as ever, since I'm doing all the things that I've been wanting to do in my life. I'm glad to be free of the "be creative in your little cubicle between 8-5" work schedule while my daughter cried her lungs out in daycare. It just makes me so happy to be with her at home, and watch her grow ever day. Its like a miracle happening right in front of my eyes. I love my work and my family -and that I believe is my greatest motivation at this point in time.

Happy Durga Puja!

2007-10-17T12:58:00.000-07:00

Its that time of the year again when my heart aches for my hometown Kolkata and I wish I was there with friends and family. I haven't been home for the pujas for 8 years now, but I can still smell the pujo morning air, I can still hear the beat of the 'dhaak' (drum) and my feet do their own little 'dhunochi' dance. I'm not religious at all, but the goddess 'Durga' has a very special place in my heart. It used to be the only time in the year as a child that where we weren't expected to do homework for 5 straight days- that makes her special to anyone! :) The 'pandals', the 'adda', the 'fuchkas' and 'egg rolls', the new clothes and competing for who got the most number of new clothes that year, the flirting and infatuations, all of these memories still stir my soul. It is the season to love, laugh and let go. So my friends and family - many many miles away from me - I would like to tell you that I love you and miss you terribly in my life.

Shobaike amader torof theke sharodiyo shubheccha!

The BIG move

2007-09-05T11:04:00.000-07:00

Don't freak out - we did not move to a new house. However a major move did take place within our house this long weekend. Evani's crib was moved from our master bedroom to her nursery. She has been sleeping in her own room since Monday night. She is absolutely fine with it - basically because I don't think she can tell the difference. However both mom and dad are miserable (especially dad). We miss her terribly. The positive side to it is, our bedroom looks very spacious once again and we dont have to tip-toe to move around while she is sleeping.

On another note, Koko started eating apples since yesterday. She seemed to love it. I went all out to prepare it instead of giving her the store bought jars. Since I don't have a job now - I'm trying to save some moeny...hee...hee... We'll see how long that lasts.

Evani's first photo shoot

2007-08-29T13:09:00.000-07:00

Our friend Kiran and Shomeek made a great effort at capturing some of Evani's cutest expressions ~

Some precious moments

2007-08-19T21:20:00.000-07:00

Finally I was able to capture her rolling over. Usually she never rolls over when I try to shoot.

Enjoying her bumbo seat. For my friends in India - this is NOT a potty even though it looks like one :)

Koko's intro to belly dancing

2007-08-19T20:41:00.000-07:00

This Friday we met up with some of Shomeek's colleagues for dinner at a Persian restaurant. Who knew that Friday night was 'belly dancing' night at that place. Koko was tired and snoozing in my lap when all of a sudden the music blared and out came the belly dancer with her shimmies ( i hope that's how its spelled!). Koko jerked out of her nap and while I was scared that she would start shrieking at such sudden intrusion, to my delight she was actually mesmerized. With eyes and mouth (that's a constant) wide open, she actually was unable to blink. The belly dancer was kind enough to spend some quality time dancing for her most intrigued audience despite the fact that the parents did not have a single dollar bill to tuck in for her. I think Shomeek might go back next Friday night just for that missed opportunity. For all of you who do not know Shomeek that well, he does not miss an opportunity to either pose with or take pictures of belly dancers (atleast this time he had a good excuse)...so here goes~

Solids

2007-08-15T11:28:00.000-07:00

Evani started solids last night - Gerber single grain rice cereal mixed with formula. She was totally intrigued by the whole experience and did a pretty good job at actually getting the food down her throat. I wish I had some pictures, but I was too tired to take any.